Breakaway
by NightWing201
Summary: Dear Lily, I swear I'd like to end my life. Right now. If only there'e one person willing to murder me. I am plain, boring and ugly. Also, I have a rare magical ailment that can't be healed. In short, I'm useless. Please Lily, I don't know what to do anymore. Help me. From, Hermione. WARNING: This will end in tragedy
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I just thought of this while reading the diary of Anne Frank. So I asked myself, why not turn one of my fanfic ideas into a diary style?

This is my attempt to it.

**Enjoy**.

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**September 19**

Dear Diary,

Hello there.

My name is Hermione Jean Granger. I'm a sixth year from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (it's a great school of magic). The only close friends I ever had in my entire life is Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, where in my opinion there's no better guys to hang around with.

Speaking of, since it's my birthday today, Ron gave me a perfume as a gift. How many times should I tell him that I don't like wearing perfumes? So I have no other choice but to keep it in my closet back at home and use it when I would really need it. Perfume smell makes my nose wrinkle, then I would sneeze all day.

My parents gave me a nice silver watch to replace my old one. I loved it.

Harry, however, gave me this diary.

I have no idea how come that green-eyed boy thought of giving me a 'girly' thing. When I asked him why a diary, his only answer was, "I know you're dying to share girl stuff since you've met us, don't you, 'mione?"

He was saying the truth. They were both boys. The closest girl friend I ever had was Ginny, and you wouldn't think that as close enough. So after a few playful hits on his arm, I headed upstairs and locked myself in my four poster bed to start writing.

Today, on the other hand, I have no thoughts or opinions to share with. Just a nice introduction.

PS: Today is one of my best birthday ever. I still couldn't believe how fast time has flown

Till next time,

Hermione

* * *

Dear Diary,

Getting back to Hogwarts feels right. I get to meet the usual people and admire the view.

Anyway, Harry came in to the Great Hall all bloodied and bruised. I was so worried about him that I had to hit Ron with a book several times when he's all worried about his stomach, not his best friend.

Harry told us that it was Malfoy who made it. Shock erupted in me. I never expected Malfoy to be crueler than the common insult he always do. What has gone to him?

I'm really glad he was safely recovered before the train even go back to London. Or else I couldn't imagine Hogwarts without Harry.

Worried, Hermione xx

* * *

Dear Diary,

While on History with Professor Binns, I thought, "Why not give you a nice name?"

I thought Lily would do. I got the idea, of course, from Harry's mum. It's a nice name, and the cover of the diary, which was green, reminds me of Harry's eyes- _Lily's eyes_. And since you're a girl, I thought Lily fits it.

See you later Lily,

Hermione

* * *

Dear Lily,

Ron is starting to get annoying.

He keeps on complaining about how he cannot be better at Quidditch. I just think he's jealous of Harry's skills. I thought it's not fair to compare yourself to others. Meanwhile, Harry was the new Quidditch captain, and he's having tryouts today.

I watched from the stands to see how Ron would do. Cormac McLaggen, a boy who had a great pride of himself and a trollish face, was trying to catch my eye from far below. Some feeling of despise filled me. I found out he was trying out for the same position as Ron. Thinking better, I confunded McLaggen so that Ron could get the Keeper position. It worked.

After the Quidditch tryouts, Harry was asking me if I did it, and I said yes, and I forced him not to tell that secret to Ron or else he could think worse things about himself again.

Good thing it went well,

Hermione

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Dear Lily,

I'm worried about Harry.

That Potion book of his is making him go mad. There are spells which I don't know is etched on the different pages of the worn out book. I told him it might be dangerous, but he didn't listen.

Plus, the book is teaching him to_ cheat_. Instead of doing the printed instructions, he was following the Prince's instructions. Cheating is the most absurd and terrifying thing to do ever. It's against the rules. I'm sure of it.

I need to make him swear he would buy a new one.

Love, Hermione

* * *

Dear Lily,

Did I ever mention that Harry couldn't get more better looking?

Yes Lily, ever since third year, on our Time Turner journey, I had discovered my feelings for him. And now, at our sixth year, he was growing more handsome and manly. I need to stop myself from sighing when I saw him this morning in a good light- his emerald eyes glinting and his jet black hair rustling.

I fell in love with the green-eyed man, and knew he was never going to love him back.

It broke my heart when he had a crush on Cho Chang in fourth year. But he told me that I was not ugly during our fifth year. Not ugly, but not pretty either. This sixth year, I was hoping some chance on him. As I can see, he was eyeing no one recently.

Well, we could just hope, we may never know

Love, Hermione


	2. Chapter 2: The Pain

**A/N:** This would only take to 3-5 chapters. Doesn't follow the sequence of the scenes in Half-Blood Prince.  
**PS: The BOLD letters indicated the scene what was happening in the present, while Hermione was writing her diary**

**I have a new rule. For every two reviews each chapter would get, I'll update one chapter. For example if this chapter gets four, then I'll update the next two chapters. Sounds fun, right?**

**Nothing bad would happen if you would review, something would if you don't**

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Dear Lily,

I heard that Harry was having this 'lessons' from Professor Dumbledore next month.

I was surprised. Dumbledore is the best wizard there is, not just in Hogwarts, but in the whole Wizarding World, probably even the Muggle's world.

Harry told Ron and I that Dumbledore needs to say some things for him. Important things about his rival, Voldemort- You-Know-Who. So that he could save the Wizarding World, being a Chosen One and all...

For a terrible fleeting moment, I was terrified to let him attend the sessions with Dumbledore. Because Harry could die in this serious matter. Voldemort is the most powerful in evil wizardry. So then, I decided, and thought to myself, that I would stay with Harry no matter what happens. Even until the very end.

Love, Hermione.

* * *

Dear Lily,  
Today, Harry has won the Felix Felicis or known as the Lucky Potion from Professor Slughorn with the Prince's help. In no time, Harry Potter was the Potions Professor's favorite student. Of course, I can't help but feel a bit jealous myself. But there are more important matters to press on- Harry always suspects that Draco is up to something, but as he said, "When did ever Malfoy became one of the best thinkers?"  
So I was just half believing him. Harry needs more proof to show that the cursed necklace was indeed from Malfoy.

By the way, Katie Bell sounds okay. She's still in St. Mungo's up to now, and Harry's getting more worried about his team.  
Still, I trust him. I'm his friend after all.  
Love, Hermione

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Dear Lily,  
Insane really. During the Slug Club meeting, McLaggen was trying to show off again. I really don't know why he was doing it. Is he trying to impress the plain, boring bookworm Hermione Granger? Impossible.

When Professor Slughorn asked him about his family background, he keeps mentioning that they were rich, and that he's related to some famous Quidditch player. Not to mention he was looking at me while Professor Slughorn was listening. McLaggen tried to corner me to talk after the meeting, gladly, Ginny pulled me away absentmindedly.  
Disgusting man.  
Love, Hermione

* * *

Dear Lily,  
Today was very awful.  
I just felt my heart sink into the depths of oceans. I think Harry was beginning to like Ginny- the only girl of the Weasley children, a bright, pretty and sporty girl. You can infer that I have no match for her.  
When Harry spotted her kissing with Dean Thomas, I observed that his jaw was clenching and unclenching, and his fist was white. I need not to ask- the evidence was right in front of me. I bit my lip to stop myself from tearing out. There's no point to argue, I knew Ginny had a crush on Harry since the very first time. And now Harry was being the puppy in love for her. If they admit their feelings to each other, they could have dated together, and if it blooms to the future, they could produce the most prettiest and handsomest children ever.

E- even writing this breaks, and pains me...

Oh well Lily, I guess it's just you and me after all this time, as always.  
Love, Hermione

* * *

Dear Lily,  
I can't believe it! Harry just poured some Felix Felicis into Ron's drink!  
Then I found out after the match that he was just faking it to unnerve some horrific madness in Ron. _Oh Harry_- you brilliant boy!  
After winning the match, the whole Gryffindor bunch headed to the common room to celebrate. The Gryffindors were singing to the chorus of _Weasley Is Our King_, while I, was watching Ron enjoying being the spotlight of the show.  
However, the next scene that happened slashed my heart into two- Lavender Brown _kissed_ Ron full on the lips.  
A pang of fury enraged in me. Quickly, I moved away to avoid creating a scene.  
Harry, concern and curious as always, must have known where I've gone to because he followed me in an empty classroom. I swear I almost shouted at him to go away- how could he broke my heart and still approach me in midst of sadness?  
Instead, I felt sympathetic. I let him circle his arms around me. In return, my tears gave away then I buried my head into his sweet scent, while I charmed some birds to hover and circle above our heads.  
We stayed there. I wish it could have been forever but then the giggles nearing showed that Ron and Lavender, both red faced, interrupted our nice scene.  
The anger came back

I was mad at Lavender, for kissing Ron and taking one of my boys- the only friends I ever had. I was mad at Ginny, for doing the same, especially to my crush. I was mad at Ron for being so stupid and selfish- I was mostly _mad at Harry_ for being blind, for not seeing what he's supposed to see. That, I, Hermione, was madly in love with him.  
I have no choice. I- I casted Ron away using the birds I was practicing with. Flabbergasted, he ran away with Lavender. Harry tried to-';,..;;;,'.',',''',,...

**Hermione gasped painfully. She dropped the quill and knocked the ink with the swaying of her hand- spilling the contents to the table, painting it black.**  
**Suddenly, Hermione coughed blood- red and dark, splattering on the sides of her diary. She give her chest a few thumps, which was throbbing heavily. Horrified on what she saw, Hermione stood up from her seat, and paced to the door, wanting to call for help.**  
**Her lungs were barely breathing. She coughed again. When she shouted, nothing came out. The color from her face was draining, and with another fits of cough- Herimone_ fainted_.**

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A/N: So I'm still trying to strengthen the plot with the help of one amazing reviewer who's brilliant, by the way. Let's just see how it will turn out

**PS**: An idea for the cover would be great ^_^. And to the author I was drawing the cover for, Ill show it to you tom

**PSS**: Hey readers, don't be a silent reader. Go review, share your comments/opinions if it needs improvement or if is just okay.


	3. Chapter 3: Lily Replies Back

**A/N**: Since two people had reviewed, I'm posting another one. Yay for that.  
I changed the rating to T because I recognized that the blood and stuff from the recent chapter is not allowed for such young minds.  
The title "Breakaway" comes from the song Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson. That song made me cry, and maybe this story would make me cry too.  
**Dedication**: To the two wonderful people, **LadyH. -Peverell**, whom Ive known ever since I started to write in this website, and **Red Phoenix Dragon** who has a brilliant imagination. Two of the best reviewers of this fic.  
**Again my rule is:**  
**If I get two reviews in this chapter, then I would post another one. If I get only one review or none, then I'm sorry to say that I won't be able to continue.**  
**Don't be a silent reader. Speak for yourself. Speak for your opinions, insights, suggestions, etc. Unless your net is loading slow.**

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Dear Lily,

Oh Lily, I don't know what was happening to me. I fainted while writing my recent entry to you. Now I've left some blood marks on some parts of your pages, unable to erase- I'm sorry, Lily.

Right after what happened, my girl mates, Lavender and Parvati found me on the floor, bursting same shrill of screams.  
I was lucky. I swear I could have died if no one will find me after several hours. The girls told me that they called the Head of the House, Professor McGonagall to check the emergency. They rushed me to St. Mungo's immediately. After some short questions, Lavender and Parvati returned to Hogwarts together to continue their studies, with Professor McGonagall, who needs to teach. None other else but them knew what had happened. At the present time, I'm worried that Harry and Ron won't find out why I was not in school today.  
But I remember Lily, that they don't care about me. They are both stuck in their own worlds, in their own fantasies that was slowly becoming true.

Oh Lily, I'm really, really afraid. My mum and dad went over here to check me. It felt like Christmas came early for me. I hugged them and kissed both of their cheeks- I miss them so much. All of this problems burdening me vanished when I saw them. Right now, mum and dad are talking to the healer assigned to check me, while I'm here in my room writing to you. I am very afraid on what I am going to hear next.  
Is it just some kind of sickness? Or a simple ailment? Will I be all fine after this? Can I still return to Hogwarts? Should I write and tell Harry and Ron what happened?

I wish you could talk to me right now, Lily. I really need somebody to talk to...

**Hermione paused. The words from her mind, passing through her nerves, to be written by her hand seem to trailed off. She twirled the quill between her slender fingers, while rereading what she has written. Her elegant brown eyes shows signs of tiredness from crying and going to sleep late at night. Sighing deeply, she dipped the quill in the ink bottle and was about to start writing again when she noticed something.**  
**The space after her last written sentences that was empty and crispy white is suddenly filled with appearing letters of a neat handwriting- like a girl's, in black ink.**

_It is time that I shall reply back to you. Hello Hermione, this is Lily._

**Hermione, both aghast and wonder struck, reread the words before it sank back to the paper. She remembered Tom Marvolo Riddle's diary that Harry discovered in their second year. The very diary that has life itself and can reply back to whoever writes in it. Could this possible be like that?**

Hi Lily,  
How come you can write back to me right now? Is there some enchanment you used? If you don't mind if I ask

**Hermione waited. Then Lily wrote back:**

_During my time at Hogwarts, in my seventh year, I had a diary, very much like yours, Hermione. I was also the best Charms students at the time-_

**Hermione did remember Harry mentioning that his mum was the best in Charms and Potions, while his dad, in Transfiguration.**

_-so one time. I tried to cast a spell to see if I was any good at the subject. It worked. I passed on some of my emotion, my brains and everything to the diary. Professor Flitwick was amazed of my work. He graded me high in return._  
_Not only that, after we are married, James and I promised that we would give this diary to our first child. If it was a girl, she can write her feelings there, and not feeling ashamed at the same time because she can talk to her mummy indirectly. And even if I am already dead, the diary can guide the girl in her life. However, we had a boy, Harry- it was decided that instead, Harry could give it to a girl whoever he likes or hearts to give it to._

_We knew we wouldn't be safe with You-Know-Who around, so James thought it would be the best to give it to one of his friends that were more safe and out of reach from the Dark Lord. So we asked Remus to give him the diary to Harry in his third year- for I know he can be a matured thinker when that time comes. Harry never wrote, and just kept it as a treasure. Then this diary fell into your hands, Hermione, and I think Harry has chosen well._

_Don't be embarassed that you said you had feelings for my son all over the years. I surely think you had a chance on him. And I prefer you over Ginny- whoever she was. By reading your entries, I think you are a nice and a bright person, Hermione._  
_Just remember, I'll be here listening to your stories._

_And I'm so sorry to hear about what happened. I hope it's just a simple ailment you're having._

**The words stopped there. Unbelieving, Hermione settled her back to the wood rest of the bed. After a long time, she was surprised that Lily Potter- the mother of her crush, would talk to her privately. And when she said that Hermione had a chance on Harry, a new surge of hope enlightened her. It wasn't a dead end after all.**

**Hermione swore that at that moment, she can feel like she would be able to produce thousands of Patronus with just one flick of her wand. Not even the sickness she was having could distract her plans. **  
**For the rest of the day, the brown-eyed girl thought of this. When she knew what to reply, she wrote back:**

Dear Lily,  
Thank you for the kind words you said. I'm really flattered. I just hope that Harry thinks the same as you do. But I don't think Harry would change his way of heart. No one could do that but the owner itself. I knew he loves Ginny Weasley. But a little change is not bad, I suppose, since he had a crush before who's now a plain person in his heart. Maybe he would loose interest on Ginny, and find... someone.  
But how long that would take? Would the next person be me? I don't think so.

_Hermione,_  
_You're not plain- you truly are amazing. Don't give up._

**Hermione does not know what to reply back. She decided to leave the topic unanswered until she have thought of the right answer.**

* * *

Dear Lily,

A very disturbing news followed at my seventh day in St. Mungo's. The healers found out that I had a rare magical ailment. The symptom are as it follows: a victim coughs blood at first. And also it will continue for the following days. The life span of people who have this kind of sickness is short. Disappointingly, the healers know nothing about the next harsh things that would happen to me. They looked at me sympathetically. I cried after they told me that.

The healers don't know when it would the coughing appear again, but I was feeling a lot better than the past days. Only my parents are worrying about is that they don't have any treatment nor medicine to my sickness.

You see Lily, I have a hopeless life. I may be the brightest witch of our age, but it has a big cost in hand. I have no loyal friends, I am not pretty, and most of all, I have a dangerous sickness. I am useless. So I thought it's better to wait for my life to end.

Not only that, my parents were forcing or insisting me to quit Hogwarts and attend a Muggle school near our house. So they can watch over me, if anything bad happens. They could just rush me to the nearest Hospital and prevent it for a while.

But Lily, I don't want to go back to Muggle school. All I ever receive is a great deal of bullying and insults, and I grew tired of it. Besides, I had no friends in the Muggle world. So then, I told mum and dad that I would go back to Hogwarts and graduate there. Nothing else. They reluctantly agreed, saying that it was my choice.

My mum, soothes my back, while dad was saying encouraging words.

After this, I am going to pack my stuff so that I could return to where I hopefully belong.

And as Hagrid said to Harry ages ago, what would come, would come... and he would have to meet it when it did. I would meet death soon enough.

See you soon, Lily. Don't bother replying. Maybe we could talk next time. I just ought to share my opinions.

Love, Hermione

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Please leave a review. Remember my rule in the Author's Note. No new update until this chapter had 2 or more reviews :)

Sorry if this is too angsty. If you don't want angsty type, go read other fics. And remember,** this will end in traged**y, which means one of them will die


	4. Chapter 4: Slughorn's Party

**A/N:** Here you go lads, Chapter four. I'm enjoying writing this. I hope I could finish this before I lost my passion or mood again.  
The recent got five reviews, more than what I have asked for, so here you go!  
**Dedication: To each and everyone of you :)**  
***Disclaimer notice note***  
**Rules: I would only post the next chapter if this gets more than three or more reviews. For example, my first chapter got three reviews, so I posted the second.**

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Dear Lily,  
As expected, when I came back at Hogwarts, people keep on asking me where I've gone to. If I tell them the truth, would they care? Even reluctant, I've told the story anyway. But in a lie. What I said is that I had an injury and had to repair my bones in St. Mungo's because the injury is not in Madam Pomfrey's reach. Otherwise, I told them I was fine. They bought the story and returned to their usual chatting and essay homeworks.

To Harry and Ron, I told the same thing. I know, I know, Lily. I felt so bad lying, but it's all the same, isn't it? If I told them the truth, they could forget their love ones and instead focus on me. It can destroy them. Probably, I don't want that to happen to my boys.  
Harry and Ron's reaction was repulsive. Ron turned scarlet after he heard my story. Harry frowned, but there was sadness in his eyes. If they only knew how much I wanted to hug them both, especially one in particular.

For the next days of stay, Ron tried to be nicer around me. He even helped me in carrying my books, and did not complain over everything I said. Ron did ignored Lavender just to provide me a great attention. It felt foolish when you know that someone is acting just to make you feel better. Why don't he be honest that he still did not forget the fact that I attacked him with a flock of birds?  
Or maybe, Ron can be nice sometimes.

However, my vision did change when Harry surprised me one day.

After their Quidditch practice ended, Harry, riding on his Firebolt, went over the stand to where I am sitting and pulled me on his broom- I gasped in surprise.  
Before I could struggle and return to the sits, Harry trudged his broomstick forward. I screamed and wrapped my arms around his body to prevent myself from falling. Harry did more tricks, I screamed more and more, holding tightly. He did it several times, circling around the pitch until dawn came.

One thing you should know Lily, I am afraid of heights. But Harry was laughing teasingly. I couldn't help myself- I laughed too. It was the best moment yet after experiencing horrible truths from the past few months. It was nice having a bit of a change.

And that's when I well knew that Harry and Ron haven't changed after all. Maybe as clever as I am, there are some things that remains out of my knowledge hand, making me stupid.

Love, Hermione.

**Lily replied:**

_Hi again, Hermione_

_I'm glad to hear that you and your best friends, and also my son are starting to build the friendship you had once again. I hope it continues, as long as you're happy. I always knew Harry can always make you happy._

_Love, Lily_

* * *

Dear Lily,

So stupid of me!  
Did you know, Cormac McLaggen, the boy whom I described to you before, asked me to Slughorn's party?  
He cornered me in the library one time. I wanted to escape but I was leaning into the bookshelf with his hands on the shelf, his arms preventing me from going anywhere. I wanted to smack him. Before I could even react, McLaggen asked me, "Can you go to Slughorn's party with me?"

Both annoyed and wanting to get out there, I replied 'yes' very quickly. The delighted, evil smirk he wore on his face caused me all the traumatic tension. He let me go after. Why did I even agreed to go with this idiot?

I know, Lily, I know. Right when I headed to the Girl's bathroom, I wanted to trash around and kick the nearest furniture my foot can reach. I entered a bathroom stall and buried my head in my hands. So stupid of me!

But past is past, and all I could hope for is for the party to turn right- maybe even pretending to be sick just to avoid Mclaggen. I don't even like him in the slightest bit.

I felt like I have betrayed my feelings for Harry. Poor boy, I wonder who's he's going to the party with?

Some tapping of school shoes on the bathroom floor noted me that some girls arrived. At a perfect timing, I overheard some girls talking about Harry. Romilda Vane said, "I'm trying to trick him with a Love Potion..."

"Oh I hope it works. Harry_ is_ cute...!"

Then followed were giggles. When I went outside the bathroom stall, they all fell silent, exchanging questioning looks between themselves. I was about to confiscate the love potion until I realized they were holding nothing. Disappointed, I rushed back to the library. Hopefully, McLaggen was nowhere to be seen, only Harry was there, peering over books.

Quickly, I told him about Romilda's plan to trick him. Harry trusted what I said. After, he told me his problem- about how he has asked no one yet since the party is due tomorrow.

"You can always ask some friends-"  
"That's it!" Harry exclaimed, "Why don't we go as friends, Hermione?"  
I paled. As if the words were not from my mouth, I informed Harry that I was going with somebody else already. I told him that McLaggen asked me. Harry knit his brows before his frowning face returned normal. I sighed in relief. He was not mad after all.  
A bright idea suddenly came into me, I asked Harry if he wanted to ask Luna and he said he'd love to. I mean he can't like Luna, can he? Unlike some redhead of sort...

So that's it Lily. Stupid, right?

Love, Hermione.

**Lily answered back**:

_Not at all, Hermione. You're not stupid. Maybe everything that you wanted to happen can't always happen. At least my son has not asked Ginny. Be glad, instead Hermione. And you could always go with McLaggen as friends. You should tell him that you don't really like him._

_Take my advice, Lily_

* * *

**"And I made a 360 degree flip- then, I blocked it" Cormac heaved proudly, his hands on his sides.**

**"Uh, yeah. Very interesting..." muttered Hermione, not listening to every word Comrac says about his ultimate saves from the Quidditch goalposts. Talking to him was pretty the most pointless and most boring conversation ever.**

**A flash of jet black made Hermione turn to look over the boy in his dark glasses. Harry was talking to Professor Slughorn, with a look that defines that he was not enjoying the party at all. Concerned, she wanted to pull him and entertain him instead.**

**"Mistletoe" whispered McLaggen quietly on her ear with excitement gasping out from his breath.**  
**Hermione jumped. "What?!"**

**McLaggen grinned, then pointed his finger to the bunch of magical mistletoe hanging above their heads. Hermione's only thought was ****_oh no_****. McLaggen stepped closer, then started to lean his face towards her. His eyes were a match with sparks. But in contrast, Hermione's were frightened and reluctant.**

**"Excuse me- I'm going to get some drinks first-" Hermione said, then quickly evaded the scene, pushing his face for a moment. When she was a bit far, Hermione turned around. As she glanced back, Mclaggen's expression was confused. He scanned the crowd for her.**

**Good. Hermione sighed in relief and hid behind a swish of velvet curtains. There- to her great astonishment, was Harry.**

**"Er- hi Hermione" Harry offered a pushed smile.**  
**"What are you doing here?" the girl asked curiously.**  
**"Hiding from Professor Slughorn," Harry replied, "You?"**  
**"Same thing... only from McLaggen" she shrugged. Hermione was suddenly mesmerized by his bright green eyes that were gazing elegantly down at her.**  
**It was Harry's turn to be curious, "Oh. I thought-"**  
**"That I was glad to be his partner? No, not at all" Hermione said, feeling sick.**  
**"Oh right. Listen, I need to find Luna, okay? See you later" then with a swift movement, Harry was out.**

**Hermione felt herself sink a bit. Was Harry avoiding her? The bushy-haired trampled out of the hidden corner. Just in time, she felt a sharp pain erupting from her chest-**  
**Gasping, she clutched her chest and rushed outside Slughorn's office. The corridor was empty and silent. And was only filled when Hermione started coughing out loud. She put a hand over her mouth to stop the coughing, because it was damaging her swollen throat.**

**It stopped. Hermione fought an urge to not look at her hands covered with her own blood. She leaned back on the wall, and sat at the bottom to rest. Taking deep breaths of fresh air, Hermione suddenly became alert with voices coming nearer. She stood up and quickly hid behind a suit of armor. No one should see her hands full of blood-**

**"Listen. I have something to give to you" she heard Harry's voice echo. Hermione peeked through the tiny spaces to see Harry walking with... somebody. Probably Luna. She felt a pain- not the sickness, but the emotional one- streak her chest.**

**"Yes?" the girl's voice said curiously. Harry snuggled something from behind his back.**

**_What's happening_****? Hermione thought**

**The next thing she saw made her world stop. A diary, bound in leathery green, with white papers, was in between Harry's hand. And his arms are outstretched to the girl in front of him.**

**"Here" said Harry, his cheeks reddening.**

**She did not need a slap to exactly know what was happening- he was offering the it to a girl. It was obvious that Harry was handing a diary very much like Hermione's diary- to the girl she always knew Harry admires.**

**Heart breaking, Hermione turned away, and ran-**

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Oh, I know youll hate Harry here. I apologize. Maybe not, in the epilogue.


	5. Chapter 5: Satisfactory

**A/N:** Ah... as I expected, you've disliked Harry a bit. Don't worry, he's not blind or anything. Stop worrying for now. Because you've got to worry about _this_ chapter instead.

Im so sorry if this is so so so angst and dramatic. I did put it on as its genre, right?

Anyway

**Rules: If I got three or more reviews and one more favorite and follow, then I'll post another chapter. If not, well I'd leave this as a big big big cliffhanger.**

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Chapter 5:

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_Dear Mum and Dad,_

_I should have listened to you._  
_I should have not return Hogwarts. I should have live with you and became a simple Muggle. The sickness is killing me inside. Just as the doctor said, the ailment is eating my life bit by bit- I wouldn't be surprised if I won't wake up tomorrow._  
_But it's not my only problem, mum and dad._  
_There's another pain killing me one by one, and it is emotionally._  
_It's Harry, mum and dad. Just Harry._  
_He broke my heart, tear it to shreds, crush it into million pieces, and pounded it to the ground. Seeing him everyday reminds me of the pain he did. So I thought it's better to get away here- maybe I could forget about him._  
_Did you know what Harry did? He gave an identical diary- identical to what he gave me on my birthday- to Ginny Weasley. She's one of the Weasleys and I'm pretty sure you've seen her already._  
_Probably Harry gave it to Ginny because he wanted to know if she feels the same way about him. He wanted to know if Ginny still had a crush on him. I wouldn't say Ginny does not feel the same way about Harry. Actually, she was starting to dump Dean Thomas- another 6th year Gyffindor. Maybe, just maybe, she was doing it so that she could have a go on Harry._

**A drop of water splashed after Hermione wrote the last word. She closed her eyes and continued to cry.**  
**She can remember all too well what happened last week. After Slughorn's party. She could not forget the look from Harry's face, and the girls's reaction.**  
**Ache and anger swelled inside her. It almost came to the point where she wanted to throw the diary away- anywhere just not to see it again. But the diary was different from the usual ones- it was a treasure, it was part of Lily. An item worth to sell for a thousand Galleons.**  
**Forgetting Harry, and tried too, she kept it back in her luggage. Hermione promised herself that she would never write back to Lily until she can find somebody else to love. Until she got over from loving Harry.**  
**Hermione closed her eyes and harshly tore the part of the parchment where the subject about Harry started. Pushing back tears, she wrote her name on the bottom part. A little shaky because her hand was shivering madly. Hermione rolled the parchment, tied it into one of the legs of a school owl, and poured food into its tray.**

**The barn owl hooted thankfully, and pecked one.**

**"Take it to my mum and dad." Hermione whispered silently.**  
**After sipping some drink, the owl fixed it wings in a flutter before setting off. Hermione positioned her elbows on the bricked edge, and watched the owl zoomed out of sight, from a size of a ball into a size of an ant. She took a deep breath helplessly.**

* * *

**Cold air, an aftermath of winter, was hitting the window pane. The color of summer on the trees and grass are slowly appearing. Some students are happily sitting beneath a shaded tree. And some, are just enjoying the sight from beyond, inside the castle sleek windows. And the rest would be probably go shopping around Hogsmeade.**  
**It was the day after Hermione sent the letter. She was sitting on the comfy couch in the Gryffindor Common Room, against the unlit fireplace, knitting wool hats and socks for the Hogwarts house elves. The rest of the room was peacefully quiet.**  
**She was eager for her parent's reply. Hermione wanted to get away from Hogwarts as soon as possible. To avoid missing such a beautiful place, and such a handsome boy. Normally, her parents would reply the night before. Because they were like Hermione, very quick in response. But it seems like they were too slow, or maybe it was the owl that was slow.**  
**However, part of Hermione wished that they won't reply. Part of her still wanted to stay, so she can watch over Harry and Ron. To see if they were alright, and if they were still keeping up with their studies.**

**The silence was interrupted when Lavender bursted in, pulling a scarlet-faced Ron behind her.**

**Ron, with hair messed up and clothes ruffled, dived in to give Lavender a kiss. Lavender giggled. In return, he smiled sheepishly.**  
**For the first time, Hermione ignored them.**

**"Oh, hey-" Ron hiccuped, "-Hermione"**

**"Been drinking a lot of butterbeer, aren't you Ron?" she asked, not looking up, "And you too, aren't you, Lavender?"**  
**"It's none of your business" said Lavender.**  
**"Aw, c'mon Lav Lav. Don't talk to Hermione like that" demanded Ron, wrapping an arm around Lavender, still smiling foolishly.**  
**"Go find a room" Hermione said acidly in a dangerous tone. To be honest, she wanted every part of Lavender to be hit by a truck. Well, if only it was available in the Wizarding World-**  
**"No" Lavender snapped, "You go find a room. Go find Harry- or whoever you want. Go make out with him, but I wouldn't be surprised if he denies"**  
**"You ugly brute!" said Hermione furiously, standing up. She doesn't even know what brute means, it just sounded right and offensive to her.**  
**Ron's expression turned serious, "I told you Lav Lav, don't be too harsh too 'mione"**  
**"Don't call me 'mione! How dare you, Ronald" Hermione told him, "Only Harry has the right-"**  
**"So it's Harry all over again?" Ron cut in, "You know what, Lavender's right. Why don't you go find Harry and go make out with him or whatever." he said angrily, "Mind you, he's down at Hagrid's. So go to him, alright? You can make out while you forget about me"**  
**The ailment came back to her chest, but this time, Hermione did not staggered back nor clutched her chest. She just stayed there, glaring at both of them as they made way upstairs to the boy's room. She was too furious that it was making her oblivious to everything, and even in speech.**

**_Maybe you should tell that to yoursel_f, she answered back in her mind, _maybe go observe yourself before judging others_.**

* * *

Her parent's reply came back that late night. It read:

_Dear Hermione,_  
_We are so worried about you now, dear. You should pack your bags and leave Hogwarts. I hope you could do it when no one is awake. So that they wouldn't bother you. Hermione dear, go tell Dumbledore that you're leaving, and he must not tell everybody this. We are planning to move to America so that we could get away, and far from the memories that aches you. We couls take care of you, honey. Leave as soon as possible._  
_Love, Mum and Da_d.

**Hermione smiled, for the first time in ages, and clutched the parchment in her hands and put it on her chest firmly. Finally, she thought**.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

* * *

**The next morning, Hermione headed to Dumbledore's office to tell him everything.**

**"Acid pops", she muttered to the statue. It rolled in a rocky groan, revealing a hidden staircase. Nervously, Hermione climbed up and entered the headmaster's office.**

**Her nervousness was replaced immidiately by shock when she saw Harry, standing in front of Dumbledore. From the look on their faces, they were having a serious discussion. Both men snapped at her direction.**

**Hermione reddened simultaneously. She should have knocked before entering.**  
**"Ah, miss Granger." Dumbledore smiled, "I see you have come by my office. Do you need something from me?"**  
**Harry was gazing at her questioningly. Hermione gulped but ignored his look, "Er- after you and Harry talk, sir"**  
**No, she was not going to allow Harry to know about her leaving.**  
**"Is it that important, miss Granger?" said Dumbledore curiously.**  
**"I don't know, sir..." Hermione answered truthfully, "Er- maybe" she added after seeing the frown from the headmaster's face.**  
**"I have to say you should leave and wait outside for a while, Harry" remarked Dumbledore to his student.**  
**Harry tried to catch Hermione's eye but she was having an interest in her shoes and on the floor. Reluctantly, he walked outside and closed the door, leaving the two alone.**  
**"Professor Dumbledore, I need to tell you something..."**  
**"And what is it?" he said.**

**Hermione took a deep inhale and exhale before continuing to the story. The headmaster was listening intently that she was afraid to say any stammers or mistakes. At her last detail, she noticed a sad twinkle in his bright and brilliant hue of his eyes. He must have been sad to know that one of the brightest students in Hogwarts's history was leaving the school without finishing his or her studies.**

**"I see..." he said. Eerie silence followed, until Hermione spoke.**

**"So professor, are you going to allow me? Will you not tell anybody about this?" Hermione bit her lip and waited for the answer.**

**"Of course, miss Granger. Although you have been one of the greatest examples of a true Hogwarts student. It is a shame losing you. But nonetheless, I assume you that your secret will be kept hidden" Dumbledore explained.**  
**Hermione felt a wave of relief, "Thanks, sir."**  
**She retreated her back from the headmaster, and silently lurched forward towards the door. A pain was causing her heart to get down and down more. As if something heavy was pushing it to the floor.**  
**Hermione knew that it was the last time she would see the face of the a hundred year old headmaster. The brilliance of him, and how he always save Harry from any danger. She was lucky knowing him, for he is one of the greatest.**  
**Hermione wished that she hasn't known all about Hogwarts. It was too much to take. She'll miss the lessons, the spells, the magic, the professors, Hagrid- just everything.**

**But at what cause would it be if she was sent here and just to leave it? It would be senselessly stupid.**  
**Before even Hermione could leave, Dumbledore called her back, "And Ms Granger"**

**"Yes, sir?"**

**Professor Dumbledore continued:**  
**"Just remember, Hogwarts will always be here to welcome you home"**

* * *

**Once outside, Harry gripped her arm and asked her curiously, "What was that?"**

**Hermione felt braver after meeting the headmaster. This time, she said, "It's none of your business"**  
**She repeated Lavender's words to him.**  
**A little satisfied to Harry's aghast face, Hermione returned to the Gryffindor Common Room, thinking of packing up her luggage and to leave next night.**  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

* * *

Don't be too mad to Harry or maybe Hermione. You could (just maybe) cry in the end.  
Anyway, I love that quote of Dumbledore in the end. I know, I know, I got it from the queen, JK Rowling.  
So review, favorite and follow!


	6. Chapter 6: Suicide and Scandals

**A/N**: One of the reviewers asked why would the character be so angst. Like it's over or too much. I'd say because the attitude of the characters depends on the trait of the writer.

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE if you are about to send flames for the next words in my authors note, PLEASE JUST SKIP THE A/N AND CONTINUE ON TO THE STORY.**  
I am facing a lot of trials and challenges in my life right now that I almost want to go on a suicide, but luckily, I write and express my feelings instead through writing. I think that's enough.  
If anyone of you have read Percy Jackson, I had something to share, and it is my fatal flaw. I think I know what that is now, it's being too perfectionist and being too focused on finding friends- of wanting to friend anybody.  
Well if you're not liking it so far. If you think its too angst just please back out reading this now. Now you've heard my fatal flaw, and I cant change it. And seeing a - comment can wreck my nerves out.  
PS: I am slightly a negative thinker.

Damn, this is so angsty. But everything in here is possible in real life, right?

**Rules: Whatever you want. I'm not in the mood. I'm feeling stupid this month. But two reviews would be fine**.  
~~~~~~~~~~

* * *

**Chapter 6: Suicide and Scandals**

**Hermione was ready to go. Her laundered robes, and arranged school books, parchments and even Lily's diary are neatly piled inside her luggage. Her four poster was already made: the sheets were folded neatly, the pillows fluffed and the curtains sleeked. While Crookshanks, her ginger cat, was purring on the top of the luggage, and proceeded to lick its tiny paws when he felt like he needed to clean up. The cat didn't mind going back to the Grangers, in fact, it liked being there- but Hermione did mind.**  
**It really bothered her.**

**Hogwarts has been her home for almost six years. It's where she found the value of love, education and friendship. No other school can teach something that big, and add a sprinkle of magic on her life. In her opinion, Muggle schools were rather boring and nothing but a place to show yourself off and make other lives miserable.**

**But Hermione needs to have the vague Gryffindor courage. She needs to face the outside world.**  
**Hermione sniffed and wiped a tear prickling her cheek with the hem of her black robe. The bushy haired brought out her wand, and flicked it precisely on the luggage. It shrank small enough to fit in the pockets of her robes. Crookshanks purred angrily in repsonse for shrinking the thing he was sitting on.**

**Hermione pocketed her luggage. She made her way downstairs in light steps, afraid to wake her neighbors out. There are hush whispers crawling in her mind, but she ignored it.**  
**The Gryffindor common room was deserted. Not even a flickering of flames was present in the fireplace, nor the students staying up late for their essay homeworks. The scene made it all dull and lonely, but with a heavy heart, Hermione sighed in great relief. At least no one would see her leaving.**  
**The rest of the journey to the Hogwarts' gates was quiet, except for the clip-clop of Hermione's shoes on marble floor. At that, Hermione wondered to herself, why would even Peeves nor the Hogwarts ghosts appear when she was finally leaving?**  
**The last time she'd seen them, they were in a feast at the Great Hall. She never bothered to remember them.**  
**Oh well, thought Hermione, I can visit them when I get old. Then in a sickening memory, she remembered that she won't come back to the Wizarding World.**

**The gates were sealed when Hermione approached it. Torchlight were giving the door and Hermone an orange glow. She stood by the doors and checked the time from her watch- almost midnight. Professor Dumbledore was late.**  
**He owled her earlier and told her to wait for him by the entrance of Hogwarts. Professor Dumbledore will give her a Portkey for her way back home. Hermione scanned the deserted hall. No signs of the old wizard.**  
**The girl knit her brows, then tried opening the double doors. The creaking didn't come when she opened it.**  
**A blew of night air whipped swiftly on her face and robes, looking like black wings. The night was refreshing. Stars were splattered across the inky sky. The glow the moon provides seemed to highlight the sky being dark blue. Other than that, there was no chirping of birds nor the laughter of students as they arrive Hogwarts from Hogsmeade or from the train. It was unreal.**  
**Hermione glanced back- still, nobody was around. Just as she returned her gaze outside the double doors, an owl came zooming into the view.**

**Hermione looked closely- it was carrying a rolled letter in its sharp talons. She caught it right after the owl swooped down and tossed it into the air. Was it addressed to her? Does anybody knows that she's leaving?**  
**Curious, Hermione unrolled the parchment and peeked in. There, it read:**

_Dear Miss Hermione Granger,_

_We are sorry to inform you_

_Your house was attacked by You-Know-Who along with his Death Eaters (You-Know-Who's followers) at the night, exactly 10:15 pm, of November 31.- Hermione gasped- The Aurors of the Department of Magical Law and Enforcement arrived late before they even protected your relatives, for Muggle houses were hard to track outside the Wizarding World. Mister and Miss Granger were found dead at the living room. They were murdered with a Killing Curse._  
_The Aurors are still trying to know the cause of the murder. While they do that, the Ministry advice you to stay wherever you are and not return home for your own safety. We would be cleaning and investigating the house. To know more information why they were murdered. Any gold found would be returned to your vault at Gringott's bank, in case you need it._  
_If you need more help, just contact the Ministry. Or go to the Ministry office._  
_We apologize for the late response of the Aurors. Your relatives will be given a nice funeral._

_Sincerely Yours,_  
_Head of Auror Office_

**Hermione dropped the letter before the last words even cross her mind. The bushy haired fell down to her knees, next to the letter, and sobbed uncontrollably, for nearly the tenth time.**

* * *

**In a corner of a dark room, was a girl, crying. Her sniffs and deep huffing breaths was echoing around the dark room of the Astronomy tower. She was being too noisy from the sounds she was creating, she knows. She can wake somebody up. Maybe Filch, unsurprisingly, would find her here.**  
**After some time, Hermione decided to lift her head. Swollen and puffy eyes and reddened cheeks streak with tears was at sight.**  
**Moonlight filtered inside the tower. Slanted rays were making the scenery more pretty. Hermione was delirium- how could it be such a beautiful night when horrors were attacking her continuously without mercy?**

**She thought it would be all fine when she will leave. That at least, she's going home. To her family. To where she belongs. But no, casualties yet brought in another game play in her useless life.**

**Her parents... all loving and concern. They were all she ever had recently, until You-Know-Who attacked and murdered them. And Voldemort...**  
**She squeezed her jaw and tightened her fists. She never register the fact that she herself would develop such hatred towards the Dark Lord. People say he murdered hundreds, that it was the Dark Ages when he was still alive, looming around corners, whose job is just to kill people... wizarding families...**

**Frankly, Hermione stood up. If her parents were already dead... and maybe they were already in the afterlife... and now she's feeling empty and alone... then why not finish her life?**

**She did not went to the Astronomy tower for nothing. After all, the tower was among the tallest buildings in Hogwarts. So why not end her life, so that she would join her parents in the afterlife?**  
**The girl lifted herself to the edge, shakily, but as coordinated as possible. The movement was easy and light, as if Hermione was just in a playground, like falling off the railing in a height of 5 floors didn't matter to her.**

**Truth to be told, it really didn't matter. Hermione, slowly, stood on the bars of the raiiling, stretching her arms downwards to balance her body. When she finally felt a lot safer, the girl opened her arms wide into the air. Maybe with a few tricks of hopping and skipping, she could fall off. **  
**The bushy haired closed her eyes. Hermione replayed the memories, all of it in her mind. She was ready, now, right at the moment, she'll jump-**

**Her eyelids flickered open. One memory that flashed in her head juggled her back to reality. It was simple, so simple.**

**_Harry_****, only Harry.**

**She remembered how Harry always put his life first in danger just to protect his friends, and everyone else. If he knew she was standing on a railing above meters high tower right now, he would panic. He would try to ride his broom and save her if she falls.**  
**How pathetic was she, being the brightest witch of her age but still don't know how and what to think? What was she doing, going on a suicide like that? What if Harry still cares for her? What if she still has a role to play?**  
**And Lily is still there, isn't it? She's still there...**  
**Stupid, so stupid. So foolish. She should stop-**

**The sounds of door crashing made Hermione stagger, and lost her balance, wiggling her legs to maintain it.**

**"****_Miss Granger_****!" then came the voice of Professor Dumbledore. Faint horror smeared on his face as he saw what she was doing. Professor McGonagall followed, who looks like she's going to drop on her spot, with a hand over her chest.**

**"Professor-" Hermione began. However, whatever she would say next was useless. The disease took effect at not a perfect timing. Her heart ached and pound. Her throat was ready to cough blood. In needing to clutch her chest, Hermione went out of balance-**  
**Her feet slipped off the metal bars. Hermione screamed. The Professors ran forward to grab hold of her hand-**

**But it was too late, with hand failed to retrieve the bars, Hermione fell, tears falling late after her and wind lashing across her back, her hands stretched to the Professors watching the scene in terror.**

* * *

**The sound of people talking wake her up. Her eyesight took seconds before it cleared up. At first she was afraid- the light was bright, and everything went silent. Is she dead already?**

**The answer came next, however in her delight, when Professor Dumbledore spoke, "Ah, there she goes..."**  
**She can see everything now: she was back at St. Mungo's. How could she tell- she does not know.**

**Professor Dumbledore stood wisely, his long arms behind his back. He was wearing a smile, as if last night was nothing to him. Next to him, a healer stood, she was studying Hermione's actions of sitting up, only to find her head felt like being split into half.**  
**Hermione comforted her back against the bed before feeling embarassed. Last night's event was surely embarassing, even to think of it... Now what would Professor Dumbledore tell her? Instead of worrying about Hogwarts, he's with her in the hospital. It was more embarassing when Hermione thought it.**

**"How are you feeling?" the healer asked her.**  
**"Fine" she said shortly.**

**"Dumbledore, luckily, made a spell to prevent you hitting the ground hard. You have only broken half of your bones. You're very lucky that Dumbledore here saw you when you attempted to jump off" the healer informed her. Hermione felt ashamed.**  
**"No need to teach the child a lesson. She was merely depressed..." Dumbledore said to the healer with great confidence. Hermione felt a bit glad. So he didn't think she was stupid after all.**

**"I believe I can trust you this girl for a while, Dumbledore? I still have a lot of patients to check on" the healer told him in a slight hurry.**  
**"Go on. I'll talk to Miss Granger"**  
**The healer left, muttering something that sounds about how teenagers always mess things up.**

**"Don't worry about her. She's really like that..." Professor Dumbledore chucked softly as he saw the frown on Hermione's face.**  
**She blinked, "Professor, I'm really sorry for everything"**

**Professor Dumbledore's smile didn't fade, "Non sense, Miss Granger. As I said earlier, you were just depressed. Any mind could be driven mad like that with your problems you;re having right now."**

**"You know about what happened to my parents?" Hermione asked in surprise.**

**"Yes," he said, "You left the letter on the place where we are supposed to meet. When I read the letter, and saw tears on the floor. I knew you were up to no good"**  
**Hermione wouldn't meet Professor Dumbledore's eyes.**

**"And another thing Miss Granger, I'll tell your friends, Mister Potter and Mister Weasley about what happened. I'll tell them to visit you tomorrow" he said.**

**Hermione felt a great kindness to her Professor. She was right, a lot still cares for her.**

**"Thank you for everything, Professor"**  
**Professor Dumbledore gave her a reassuring stare, "And the next time you had a problem, don't be afraid to tell anyone. Don't keep it to yourself"**

* * *

**And that's how Hermione got the idea. When her luggage was sent to her room at St. Mungo's, Hermione quickly rummaged to her pack and brought out something green and rectangular- Lily's diary.**  
**Dipping her eagle feathered quill in black ink, Hermione started to write. Thirst for someone to talk to and exciteness waving over. She wrote in neat handwriting:**

_Dear Lily,_

_It's great writing back to you. I have a lot to tell._  
_Worst stuff had happened yet in my life: my parents were murdered by You-Know-Who. I can't describe what I am feeling right now, Lily. I've lost my love, my parents- almost everything. With that, I attempted suicide._  
_Don't be too mad at me Lily. Right before I jump off, I wanted to stop doing it. However my disease striked and I fell down. Luckily, Professor Dumbledore saved me. Now I'm back at St. Mungo's._

_But things will change I bet, with my parents gone, But Lily, that means I'm still going to stay in Hogwarts. I will still see Harry. I'll miss my parents so much, Lily. Now I know how Harry felt when he lost you. But mine was different, I lost my parents whom I experienced living with in years. Harry only lost you when he was a mindless one year old._

_Another thing, Lily. The reason I didn't write to you is because I'm mad at Harry._  
_You wouldn't believe it- he gave another diary to Ginny Weasley. It was however, red in color. I bet the diary is plain, unlike you, Lily. Maybe he was giving her a diary so that he would know if Ginny wrote her feelings about him. But I was partly glad that Harry never retrieved you back. You were now my bestfriend. But now I'm starting to wonder, what was the real reason why he gave you to me? Am I that important for him._  
_Speaking of, Professor Dumbledore told me that Harry and Ron were going to visit me tomorrow. I feel ashame on what they are going to tell me. About what they would think of me. I better get myself ready._

_I don't know what to do. I returned to write to you so that you could give me advices again. I hope you can help me with all the problems I'm having._

_Hope you reply soon, love, Hermione._

**Hermione waited. On the other hand, she didn't had a chance to look what Lily wrote back to her because the door opened. The healer entered, in her hand was a plate full of fruits and other sorts of food. Hermione snapped the diary shut and buried it underneath the pillow.**  
**She would read Lily's answer later. Meanwhile, she decided to fill her stomach because hunger was begging her to fill food...**

* * *

Guys, you are very supportive, I'm crying!

BY the way guys, I'm making my own stories. (that means AU) It's all teenage fictional. If you want to read: lt me know! Just message me or something


	7. Chapter 7: Why?

**A/N**: Thank you guys!  
Of course, I wouldn't expect this as the best in people's standards but it's the best I can give. Besides, I'm more into AU stuff. I make my own. Anyway, the mood of this chapter is different from the previous ones.

Sorry for the late update.

**What I need to post another chapter: Just 20 follows/favorite and two or four more reviews.**  
Enjoy. *smiley face*

Favorite, follow and review!

* * *

_Dear Hermione,_

_I'm glad you came to visit me again._  
_Here's what I have to say._  
_Suicide is the most dangerous thing ever. Once you've done it, there's no turning back. You may never return your life. You can regret what you've done and it will only proves that challenge won over you._  
_My advice, Hermione, is that you keep a positive look on everything. Live for others. Live for your ambitions and hopes. Keep a nice faith that you can solve every challenge thrown on you._  
_Trust me, it will work._  
_You are not stupid of attempting suicide. It's part of maturing, of knowing what is and what isn't. I hope you can understand that. You're clever, after all._  
_About the diary Harry gave to the Weasley girl, just ignore what he gave to her. Harry can be an idiot sometimes._

_Don't just rely on that to make you feel like a complete disaster. Hermione- maybe Harry is still confused with his feelings. It's not too late. You still have a year to change everything._  
_I wish you good health, Hermione._

_Until next time, Lily._

**Several knocking on the door. Hermione closed the diary and inserted it beneath the fluffy pillow she was using. "Come in," she said, expecting the healer.**  
**The door slowly flung open. To her great surprise, Harry entered with his head down, wearing a blue sweat shirt and jeans. His hair was messy, like he just came from a deep slumber. Followed through the gap was an anxious Ron, the scarlet shirt he was wearing highlighted his red hair and freckles.**

**"Harry? Ron?" said Hermione disbelievingly.**  
**Harry and Ron exchanged embarassed looks before answering their bestfriend, "We're sorry, Hermione." said Harry.**  
**"Yeah, we are the world's biggest prats" mu;tered Ron, still examining the floor.**  
**She did not know what to make of this. It was unusual, seeing her two boys who have she known or years acting embarassed in front of her.**

**"Oh ****_honestly_****-" Hermione huffed, a bit disoriented from their behavior, "Look at me, you two"**  
**Obediently, they looked up. But still, they were avoiding her eyes.**  
**"You are not prats, okay?" said Hermione, "And you are not a useless friend" she added when Ron was about to argue.**

**"It has been my fault." Hermione said bitterly, "It's my own fault that I got myself in this tricky situation"**

**"But-"**

**"No but." she said. If only they can understand her mind fully well. But people never understand one completely until it was themselves. Hermione sighed, relaxing her back on the bed rest, "I've not been thinking right these past few days." she cleared her throat, "maybe because the reason is about my parent's death... or schoolwork..." and you, Harry, she thought, looking down to not meet his emerald eyes.**  
**"Hermione- but, I've never seen you think and act like that. Tell us what your real problem is" Harry was pushing her with his rapid words, "tell us"**

**He sat on the edge of the bed. Ron looked at her, very still. These boys. Hermione cursed inwardly. He was right. She hated how Harry can read her easily, like she was just an open book for him.**

**"Trust me, its's nothing..." her last words seemed to flow escape her lips and flow with the wind. Hermione suddenly found interest in staring on the plain white bed sheet.**

**Harry sighed. Then his eyes rotated to examine the painting of fruits hanging on the wall, "If you say so"**  
**"But we're always free. We'll always have a free time to talk about something, Hermione." informed Ron, "If you want to say something. Maybe a problem, we'll always hear that out"**

**_Really_****? thought Hermione sarcastically to herself,****_ like you're not busy hanging out and snogging your girlfriends in broom closets_****.**

**Then as though nothing, Ron changed the subject.**

**"I forgot- my family's coming." Ron said, a hand whipping and landing on his forehead, "Mum told me they'll invite some other people, too..."**  
**Hermione paled. "What? Why are all they coming?"**  
**She does not want company of anybody she knows. Hermione wanted to be alone. To lay in bed awake and think over some things.**  
**"Hermione, don't you want any visitor? I heard Fred and George's coming too" Harry told her, confused.**  
**"No, no... it's just-"**

**Her next words was drowned when the door banged before it flew open. Standing there with party hats were the bright and red Weasleys, the smiling Remus Lupin, pink-haired Tonks, the petite Fleur Delacour and the steady as ever, Professor Albus Dumbledore.**

**"Surprise!" chorused the Wealsey twins, Fred and George. They threw confettis, coloring the room with a jitter and jatter of rainbow.**  
**"Wotcher, Hermione!" Tonks said, patting her back.**

**"How are you feeling?" Remus asked, concern yet grinning.**

**"Hello, Hermione" Ginny greeted, flashing a smile. Hermione felt a quick bitter sensation in her stomach before it fade away.**

**"Happy to see you again, dear" Molly gave her a motherly hug.**

**"'ello, 'ermionee." Fleur bent down to give her a kiss on the cheek in greeting sort of way, "You need to fill yourself more. You're too thin"**

**"Uh, yeah..." said Hermione awkwardly.**

**"Well enough of that-" Arthur told Fleur. He slightly pushed her aside and bored his eyes to Hermione, "But my dear, how are you?"**

**"Fine, thanks" she said shortly.**

**Hermione can't believe it... all of this people came just to see her... even Professor Dumbledore... and the Weasleys...**  
**Hermione felt an urge to cry in front of them. She was delightful and so joyful that if one of them ask her one more time about how was she, Hermione will hid her face behind her hands and cry all day. After the sadness she's been through, it was replaced... It was true about what they said after all. About how all sadness is can be replaced by the same level of happiness.**

**Arthur straightened his body and beamed brightly around the folk, "What are we waiting for? Let's take Hermione to the Burrow!"**

* * *

**Moments later, the healer returned to check on her. Delighted, she said that Hermione was already ready to go. Mrs. Weasley and Fleur helped her pack her things. Hermione decided to change clothes, since her dress was abundant in smell of sweat and tears.**  
**The Weasley twins apparated to the Burrow, bringing her things with them. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley followed; after a couple of flirtatious kisses, Bill and Fleur vanished to the Floo network. Remus and Tonks went back to the Ministry of Magic to return to their daily routine. While Professor Dumbledore mysteriously vanished. Or maybe he just went back to Hogwarts.**  
**Now all was left in the room were Harry, Ron and Hermione. The two boys volunteered to take Hermione with them to the Floo network.**

**"Ready?" Harry grabbed her hand. For one splitting second, Hermione momentarily froze, surprised by his action, then she nodded. Ron was beside them, pulling her heavy luggage.**

**"I don't think so" she pressed her lips together.**

**"It'll be fine" Harry brushed his finger on her palm in a friendly gesture. As much as how friendly he was, Hermione can't help but notice how this has a large impact on her.**

**They stepped in. Ron swooped a cup of gray sand and spilled the contents downwards. The green flame blew and contracted. "The Burrow!"**  
**While the world halt into a spin in Hermione's view, her vision was only focused in their entertwine hands. It was happy to think that her hands would fit right in his. Like they were meant for each other. But as soon as they reappeared in the Burrow, Harry removed his fingers from her.**

* * *

**"Hey, Hermione"**

**Hermione left her door open and forgotten, letting someone a chance to enter. Ginny, still glamorous with her flaming and bouncing hair, entered the room without difficulty. She was carrying a tray of soup. Obviously, she's planning to give it to the older girl.**  
**"Hello" Hermione replied, not bothering to look at the red head and pretending to be busy with the book she's reading.**  
**"I brought you this," she settled the content of the tray to the bedside table.**  
**"Thanks" Hermione sounded monotone.**  
**The red head must have notice the behaviour of the bushy haired. Sh frowned, "Listen..." Ginny began, "I know you're not happy about what had happened" -Hermione tensed- "But think about this. Even though you parents are now gone, there's still us..."**  
**"I know"**

**Hermione breathed out in relief. Ginny thought it was her parents she was sad about. But only half, what matters to Hermione more was Harry. She can join her parents soon when her sickness will finally give her away.**  
**They were eerie quiet for a few minutes.**  
**Hermione interrupted, "Ginny?"**

**"Yeah?"**

**"Do you still like Harry?"**

**"Why are you asking?"**

**Both girls looked at each other. She can't tell her the truth. She can't be trusted. Hermione does not want anyone to know- Hermione shrugged, "just curious"**

**"Since we're both girls... and maybe I could spill some secrets to you..." Ginny sighed, "Yes, I still do. That's why I dumped Dean Thomas... right when my feelings came back for Harry."**

**All Hermione said was: "Oh"**

**"Dinner!" Mrs. Weasley called from below. They were both startled. Ginny scrambled out of the bed and headed downstairs. Hermione finished her soup before following Ginny limply with her fixed leg, downstairs.**

**At the kitchen, everybody was laughing and talking. The radio was also on, and the magic oblivious to the family was making it alive. When Harry noticed her coming, he helped her struggle with her mending legs. Once they were with the others, Hermione watched as Harry parted from her and gave Ginny a smile only them could see and share with each other.**  
**In a paralyzed moment, Hermione thought, maybe she and Harry weren't meant for each other after all. And if she truly loves him, she would let him go. She would let him be happy with the girl he wanted. Hermione smiled.**

**Through the night, the dinner- or more like a celebration- the Burrow was in great cheery atmosphere. Even Hermione thinks they were overacting just to make her happy. She truly felt merry herself. She watch the Weasley twins sing and dance around together to entertain the crowd. And then listened to Mrs. Weasley's stories back when she was a teenager and see the Quidditch match between the boys by the window in dawn.**

**When late night came, everybody said their goodnight's to each other and went to their own rooms, Hermione was visited this time by Harry and Ron. They talked about random things. About their future ambitions and the upcoming Apparition tests. They talked like nothing happened and that they were the Golden Trio once again. Hermione secretly wished they should have been like that forever.**

**Once everybody was asleep, except for Hermione, she sat beside the window and stare at the view outside. This was her usual habits once she was younger: to stay up late at night and wander her thoughts. To think about everything, to learn from everything. And now a question interrupted her:**

**Why does it never occur to her why You-Know-Who attacked her parents?**

**Was they any important to the Dark Lord?**

**Hermione seemed bugged with those thoughts. They were innocent Muggles, and he was the greatest and most evil wizard of all time. It was impossible to think.**  
**Maybe... maybe... they need something from them... from ****_her_****.**

**Terribled by the thought, Hermione shivered inwardly. Far as she knows, she was the only one who has a magic blood in their family. Supposedly, maybe the Dark Lord needs something from her.**  
**In a one smooth motion, Hermione propped up her diary in front of her. She brought out her peacock feather quill and wrote**:

Dear Lily,

Something is bugging me. As you know, my parents were attacked by Voldemort. But why? In what purpose?  
What would the Dark Lord wants from my parents? Then I thought, Lily, that maybe it has to do with me. Since I'm the only witch in the family. Whatever it is, it has something to do with me. And I wanted to know what it is.  
Now I wouldn't be surprised if You-Know-Who will find me next.

Love, Hermione.

**It took time for Lily to reply**:

_My dear Hermione,_

_You have a great question, but I am afraid I have no answer for this. But knowing the Dark Lord, it is everything nasty and evil. Maybe You-Know-Who was finding some thing from you, Hermione. My advice is you should just be more careful next time._

_Always here, Lily_

**Biting her kip, she answered bac**k:

Dear Lily,

I'll take your advice. But I'm worried, Harry is my best friend. Which means if the Dark Lord finds me then maybe it has something to do with Harry. Maybe the answer is not being careful, Lily. Maybe I should just part a distance between me... and Harry.

Maybe that's the only way.

**Hermione snapped the diary shut. She pushed back tears as she looked back to the view outside. It seems that the sky was darker compare to its color before she wrote the entry.**

* * *

Tell me if the italicized, bold and everything confuses you.

Ahh damn, I miss writing my humor hhr fanfics. Well you should check it though! There's a lot more people viewing it rather than here maybe because they love humor. The titles:

History Repeats Itself

Hermione are you a-?

They're all humor and that's it really

Curious for the answer why? You have to wait for the last chapters.


	8. Chapter 8: Discoveries and Changes

**A/N**: Let's take a break from the heart breaking stuff (a bit only). Now let's focus on this chapter, which takes place during chapter sixteen to seventeen, A Very Frosty Christmas to A Sluggish Memory (although the story doesn't follow any timeline).  
I noticed that the diary form are getting forgotten so I managed to do it again here.

Enjoy readers.

* * *

Dear Lily,

The christmas at the Burrow was another merry one yet. Although Mrs. Weasley didn't enjoy some days with Fleur lurking around and irritating our heads off. It was half a pain for me too, seeing Ginny and Harry flirt around. Lupin visited, too. Mrs. Weasley was a bit disappointed that Tonks didn't. Tonks was a humor in the Burrow.

The presents I gave was a shirt of Chudley Cannons for Ron, a box of Muggle no-sugar sweets to the Weasleys, and a new Potions book for Harry.

What irritates through me again is how Harry still had the Half-Blood Prince book even though I've bought him one. It was scandalous really, on how he just replaced the cover of the old Potions book with the new one, still leaving the contents untouched.  
He said he's asked Lupin if he knows anyone with the name Half Blood Prince but Lupin didn't know either.

I wanted to help Harry to know who this was from researching the library. So far, I haven't seen anything. But it would be better if I knew who he was, so I could tell him if the Half Blood Prince was any danger or not.  
From, Hermione

~  
_Hermione,_

_I think I've read the Half Blood Prince words somewhere before at my time at Hogwarts. Only I can't remember where and who. If I knew, I would let you know._

_Love, Lily._

~  
Dear Lily,

Thanks for the help.

This time, we're back at Hogwarts after the winter break. I'm worried about our N.E.W.T tests, Lily. I still haven't reviewed- I mean three months! There's not enough time.

Anyway, I heard Ron has dumped Lavender and I surely can't be more joyful, for I know he deserves someone else rather than her. He said he's seeing someone lately, although he doesn't want to mention it to Harry and I.

I've observed that Harry and Ginny grew quite fond of each other. One time I spotted Ginny bickering with Dean, then after that, she told Dean that they were off. I'm not being a bad friend, but I wished that they could have had their relationship in a longer period of time. I'm not saying that Ginny and Harry now had a better chance to be with each other, but- never mind, Lily.

If you're asking, life at Hogwarts is still the same, Lily. I need to entertain my loneliness by going to the library, and avoiding McLaggen for some reasons. But I recognized that he was not acting a bit stupid lately. We even had a nice conversation once in the library. I apologized for leaving him at Slughorn's party. McLaggen was hurt, but he said he understand that I don't like him.

That's some changes, Lily. And how was the memory? Do you remember who the Half Blood Prince was?

From, Hermione

~  
_Hermione,_

_Good to hear that, Hermione._  
_I remember when somebody mentioned the name to me once. I still can't remember who, and why. I'm sorry, Hermione. But it was years ago and it's hard to remember._

_Yours, Lily_

~  
Dear Lily,

Lily, don't be sorry. You've been a great help.

Good news, Lily. I just got my first apparition test. It's harder than any spells we learned from the past years. I didn't do it well at first. But I suppose there's always a room for improvement.

I've got some other news. Very bad. On his birthday, Ron was poisoned from a wine. When he and Harry headed to Slughorn's office to heal the effect of the Love Potion, the wine Professor Slughorn gave them poisoned him. Luckily, Harry came to the rescue and gave him a bezoar. I was partly thankful for his Potions knowledge and if it weren't for that book.

Anyway, Harry suspected that the wine came from Malfoy. I don't know how he made that connection, it's just too far. I was so frustrated that we fought about it in the Gryffindor Common Room in shouts and yells. But we stopped immediately when we remembered Ron's state.  
Ron was hurried to the Hospital Wing after. I'm glad he's safe. And while he was in his sleep, he muttered something, and that's where we found out who he was seeing lately.

It was Luna. It was Luna Lovegood's name.

I was delighted. They fit perfectly with each other. While the surrounding people on Ron's bed are laughing and talking about it, I had to excuse myself to hurry outside and into the girl's bathroom to release the monster disease I was having.  
This time, Lily, it was the worst of the worst coughs. I coughed and coughed blood until I couldn't breathe anymore. Until my heart started to beat slowly and slowly. It even came to the point that I thought I was going to die. But thanks heavens, I was forgiven to live more time.

Love, Hermione.

~  
_Hermione,_

_Are you sure there's no cure for your disease? From the sounds of it, it is certainly horrible._  
_Hermione, don't you think it would be better if Harry or Ron knew about this? Maybe even Dumbledore?_  
_They are your friends, after all._

_Stay strong, Lily._

~  
Dear Lily,

Certainly not.

As I've told you before, if they knew, their focus would be gone from their own lives to my life. I don't want that. I'd blame myself if their future would be a wreck because of me.  
And besides, what's the point for them to know if I really have no cure for my sickness? Thanks Lily, but definitely not.  
Love from Hermione.

~  
_Dear Hermione,_

_You are a stubborn lady as I am. I remember when James used to ask me everytime and I was always too stubborn to ignore his request. But eventually, when I accepted his offer to go out with him. It turned out well._  
_What I'm saying is, to pick up the lesson from my story. Maybe you should not be stubborn sometimes. Maybe you should tell them, and maybe it will turn out well, too._

_Please, Hermione._

_Love always, Lily._

~  
Dear Lily,

Well let's just say things are not the same as always, Lily. Sorry, but I really have no strength to say it to them. Maybe I ought to tell Professor Dumbledore sometime, but then why? Why would the headmaster care for a student? What would he do, feel sorry about me then that's it?  
No. It's just nonsense.

You know, Lily. Today is as terrible as every other day.

Harry is an idiot. For not believing me.  
The spell he saw in the Potions book. Sectumsempra.

He used it against Malfoy. And do you know what happened? Malfoy got bloodied, and hurt. Worse, Professor Snape came after Harry did the spell. In panic, Harry borrowed Ron's Potions book. But Harry knew, that Snape knew.  
I didn't pick up a fight at him after telling the story to us. Harry has gone sweaty and nervous about it. So I just stayed and comforted him, like any other friend would.

From, Hermione.

~  
_Hermione,_

_I told you._

_If you don't want to mention your sickness to Harry, then you'd just better mention your feeilngs about him. You see, if Harry listened to you everything would turn out fine._  
_And you see, if you're gone from Harry's side, maybe he could fail at most things in his life._  
_So please, Hermione. Just this once, listen to my advice._

_Love, Lily._

~  
Dear Lily,

I might.

From Hermione.

* * *

Dear Lily,

For heaven's sake.

Something really amazing and weird happened today. I know I am always good at spells and everything, but one time, Lily, while on our Defense Against the Dark Arts subject, when we are practising the Disarming Charm, instead of just disarming my partner, Neville, he was thrown off backwards. Snape was pleased and displeased at the same time, he took 10 points from Gryffindor, saying that I should just disarm only, not use another spell.  
But I swear all I did was shout Expelliarmus.

I apologized. He was not bruised or damaged. Everybody else in the room threw me astonished expressions, but I have no idea why the spell went that powerful. No one questioned me about it after the class nor for the next few hours. Harry did, although he let the subject drop after I replied that I have no idea why the spell did it.  
At night, while everybody was asleep, I cast a silencing spell around the Common Room and tried it again. With another spell.  
I cast Incendio, the burning spell, to the fireplace. It burst into flames, but more than that, the fire blasted off in some spots unwantedly. It hit the chair, the table and the carpet. Quickly, I extinguished it by Aguamenti, only it overdid again.  
The whole room looks like it was raining inside. At last, when I calmed down and put some cleaning and repairing spell. Everything turned back the same, clean and clear.

I'm afraid of this newfound magic I have. I wish I could stop it. I just want to be the normal Hermione again.  
But I made some observations, that when I'm calm, my magic is normal, not overpower. I guess I just have to be calm all the time.

Lily, I wonder what's happening to me?

Worried,  
Hermione.

_Dear Hermione,_  
_Maybe it's just an accident. Or maybe it's in your wand. You better tell Dumbledore about this._  
_From, Lily._

~  
Dear Lily,  
I figured out that maybe you were right. I'll go and tell the headmaster as soon as I can.  
From, Hermione

Looking troubled, Hermione hid the diary in her luggage, and ran off downstairs from the girls dormitory, making her way to the headmaster's office.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

* * *

Stubborn Hermione. And good Lily. Yep,

Wondering why I didn't gave any rule just as before?

It's because I want to discover if people really enjoy my fanfic by reviewing, favoriting and following without the rules

**WARNING**:  
We are nearly in the end. And I'd like to say it again:  
THIS WILL END IN TRAGEDY. Which means one of the main characters will die. And if you don't want to cry your eyes out and if you'll just send flames to me because of this, then I'm warning you. STOP READING THIS INSTANT.

Thank you, NightWing.


	9. Chapter 9: Feelings and Failness

**A/N: PS**: I noticed many of you stopped reading this fanfic since chapter 5, probably because of the theme. Only estimated 200 people continued through on, and I must say I'm disappointed and sad. I mean the climax is still not in those chapter and people backed out, and will not have a chance to read the last chapters.

But not to worry, I'll continue this fanfic for the remaining people who have stuck!

Here we go:

It's been a long time. I fear to say that this is one of the last chapter for the fic.  
It's been a great time! *smiley face*

**Rules: If this got three or more reviews and 200-300 more views, then I'll post the next. If it didn't reach my recquirement, then I've got to say that these fanfiction will be put to an end**.

Some legend:  
Italicized: The letter/ the entry of Lily  
Normal: The story narration  
(I removed the bold!)

Disclaimer: I do not own the beautiful Wizarding World of Harry Potter.

Enjoy.

* * *

"_Sugar Quill_"

The gargoyle leapt aside at the mention of the password, revealing a narrow passage way heading to the headmaster's office. Hermione nervously took the spiral staircase two steps at a time, and knocked on the door several times before hearing the voice of Dumbledore.

"Enter"

Hermione turned the knob and entered the magnificent office. Fawkes bowed in a greeting as Hermione stepped into the room. She nod her head in return.

"Is there something I could do for you, Ms Granger?" said Professor Dumbledore. He was sitting confidently, arms on the table and fingers elapsing in a casual manner.

"I have this problem, professor." Hermione began urgently. "About my magical ability. It seems that every charm or spell that I perform is taking effect beyond my capacity of magic."

Dumbledore leaned in closely, "Beyond your magic?"

"Yes, sir" said Hermione, a bit delirious by the headmaster's glare, "The time I cast the disarming spell, sir. Instead of disarming, my practise partner was blown off his spot. Um... professor, do you have any idea why?"

Professor Dumbledore stood up from his seat and paced around the room while his arms was on his back, and his face concern and thinking. Fawkes the phoenix was like studying her too in great liking.

"This is the first time I've ever heard of that kind of an extraordinary thing." Dumbledore mumbled.

"Professor- don't you think that this is normal?" Hermione said, rather hesitant

.  
"No." Dumbledore replied, "Let me have some time to think about the right answer, Ms Granger. It's my first time to encounter of that news and I must do a bit of a research that will take days, I suppose."

Hermione said grimly, "Thank you, professor. I'll return sometime." After that, the bushy haired left the office, feeling a bit depressed.

She always thought Professor Dumbledore had the right answers. But even the greatest wizard needs time to think, right? Still feeling dreadful, Hermione returned to the common room with footsteps echoing every empty hall.

* * *

Dear Lily,

Today, Ginny and I talked about something. We were not close with each other, but I might say that she was the only girl I've ever befriended with at some point. While we were in the girls dormitory, Ginny asked me about who my crush was. It went like this:

"Hermione, may I ask you something?" Ginny said suddenly, closing her Witch Weekly Magazine in a snap.

I lift my brows and peeked the red head girl through the book I'm reading, "And what is it?"

"Did you ever fall in love?" Ginny asked, "I mean- I never saw you swoon over a boy..." she said curiously, "Oh, of course, except for Viktor Krum, I suppose." Ginny added as she saw the scandlaized look from my face.  
I folded the book and put it on my bedside table, before shifting uncomfortably on the bedfolds, "Well... yeah I do have. Right now..."

Her eyes widened, "Really? Tell me who!"

"I'm not telling you." I said crossly.

Ginny was offended.

"It's top secret, okay? Nobody should know, nor no one should ever know about it." I said, and rubbing my palms to my arms to show a sign that it was the topic I wasn't keen to discuss.

"It's okay, Hermione. You should tell me. I'm your girl bestfriend." Ginny said reassuringly, now all of her focus on me.  
"Sorry, Ginny. I just can't" I said, my eyes on the folds of the bed.

"I can't force you. But whenever you're ready, maybe you can... you know, tell me" Ginny shrugged. "But you know, I wanted to tell you who's mine."  
At her last words, I was forced to look up.

"It's Harry" said Ginny, as soft as she can as if she was afraid someone might hear.  
"Haven't you liked him since your first year?" I asked in an obvious tone.  
Ginny laughed heartily, like I've said a joke, "But that's the romantic part, Hermione! You know, I've stopped liking him at third year. But it was just temporary..."

And the Weasley girl started telling me the story why. She told me that she just dated a few guys, trying to make Harry jealous about her. Then Ginny noticed how it was working, and continued to make him jealous by dating more guys, and finally this year, she broke up with Dean and was consequently trying a move towards my bestfriend.

But you noticed, Lily.

It was so close. Too close. Ginny almost knew it.

Glad I harshened a bit to stop her.  
But I think what she was doing to Harry was a bit unfair, seeing she's only using boys to make someone jealous.

Love, Hermione.  
~

_Dear Hermione,_

_Make your move already, Hermione. Or else he'll be gone forever._

_From Lily_

* * *

The effects of the lucky potion, in Hermione's opinion, seemed to drive Harry mad.

Due to loads of homeworks, and with exams coming nearer, Hermione has to drop a visit to the library to study and pore over books. While taking her path to the library, Hermione bumped to Harry, who was whistling, and his feet, almost skipping.  
"Sorry, Harry!" she said, turning pink.

"No, not at all!" Harry said, beaming weirdly as if he wasn't bumped. "Good day isn't it? Just got the memory from Slughorn! Too bad Aragog's finally passed away. Hagrid cried about it, but I don't know- Aragog wasn't that nice either so I just came down to Hagrid's so I could comfort him, then guess what? I met Professor Slughorn on the way and I asked him to go down with me, and he did. Then after Aragog's funeral, the three of us had a small feast, and while Professor Slughorn was drunk, I asked the very memory Professor Dumbledore wanted then I got it." he said all of this very fast.

"Er- what?" asked Hermione, confused by her best friend's behavior.

"I'd say you take a break, Hermione." Harry continued, now grinning "And come celebrate with me!"

"Harry, is that the _effects_ of Felix Felicis?" Hermione said, astounded.

"Of course! Why not? Felix does the job for me!" Harry gave her a thumbs up. "So would you join me in the feast?"

"No. I have loads to do." Hermione pointed towards her bag, and eyed the thick books she was seizing by her arms so Harry could see.

To her surprise, Harry swerved forward and gave her a kiss on her cheek. He leaned back, still confident and smiling, "That's my Hermione. Always the concern and studious one, that's why I love her! Well, see you 'mione!" Harry waved his hand and continued walking away.

For the next seconds, Hermione's reactions was getting more and more: first, her cheeks reddened; second, she touched the spot where Harry had pecked his lips; third, she forgot all about everything; and lastly, Hermione turned to her heel and ran away out of confusion and mixed emotions swirling inside her.

She met a troubled Ron while she was on her way to the Gryffindor Common Room, "Hermione! Blimey- what happened?" he grabbed both of her shoulders to make her still.

"Uh, er- nothing." she said, looking everywhere but Ron.

"You look like you've been having a great time." he asked suspisciously.

"It's nothing, trust me." she waved her hand in dismissal. Hermione wanted to cover her red face from her best friend.

"Oh well then. Let's just go down to the Great Hall, the test is starting in five minutes." Ron said, checking his watch.

"Test?" her heart came into a halt.

He looked horror struck, "Appration test! Don't you remember?"

"Ah!" Hermione cursed inwardly, how could she forget it? She hasn't even prepared for it. She can't even remember what to they need to remember without focusing very clearly.  
Ron tugged her arm, "Come on, let's go."

As Hermione stepped in the Great Hall, followed by Ron, they recognized that the usual long benches and tables were gone, at the space on the floor were circular golden rings were they will apparate inside. The students ages 17 years old were crowded, some reviewing the tactics for apparating, and some talking to each other, though no one seemed to be calm about the test.

"Positions, please!" said Twycross, from the Ministry of Magic who will conduct their apparition tests.

Ron nervously stood in his, whereas Hermione did too, only mumbling the three D's under her breath.

"If you fail the test I must say you need to take the tests again next year." Twycross announced, "Remember the three D's! Right then, get ready. One, two, _three_-"

There were swishing and swooshing sounds from every direction. Hermione closed her eyes and opened them again. She was successful, she transferred herself from the vacant air into the ring just perfectly fine with no splinch. Hermione looked around and saw most of the students did it, too. Ron, who looked confident with himself, has not seen the missing eyebrow on his face- Hermione burst laughing at this.  
The tall Wilkie Twycross evacuated his position and went around to check the students who passed and who does not.

"Miss Hermione Granger- you passed! Congratulations, you may now be able to apprate legally!" Twycross told her, as he was checking his list and marking her as passed.

Hermione felt relieved by this.

Twycross walked towards Ron, and examined his work, "Mister Ronald Weasley, I'm afraid to say you didn't pass. You left an eyebrow behind." he said grimly, and he crossed Ron's name.

"But it's only an eyebrow!" said Ron, aghast.

"No, you shall do it perfectly, just like Miss Granger here." he pointed her feet. He looked at her feet (Hermione gave an apologetic look even though there's nothing to be sorry about) then returned his eyes on Twycross and glared at the man.

Ron was in a bad mood when he and Hermione left the Great Hall. She needed to listen to him speak and complain about how unfair the Apparation test was.

"If I were him, I'll give myself a second chance." he said.

"There's always the test next year." Hermione injected hopefully. They climbed up the stairs to the Gryffindor tower.

"Yeah, but Fred and George will laugh about it." Ron said smugly, "and I couldn't wait that long. I mean one year? Fat chance." he shook his flaming head.

"_Quid agis_." murmured Hermione to the happy looking Fat Lady. The potrait swung forward.

"Oh look." Ron said eagerly, peering over her shoulder.  
The room was in a glorious celebration. Noises and laughter were ringing in her ears. They must have won the final Quidditch cup.

Hermione was about to cross in through the crowd and head back to the girl's dormitory because she was not in a jubilant mood to celebrate even she was happy for the Gryffindor's triumph, when she spotted Harry striding across the room, an indescribable expression etched on his face.

He walked forward to Ginny Weasley, who was having a fun time herself, flushed and as usual, very pretty, and as the whole face took notice of this abrupt scene- Harry kissed Ginny in front of everybody.

For a while, Hermione stood there. She wasn't the only one. Dean Thomas was glaring at them with great despise. Romilda Vane looks like she was ready to kill somebody. Ron was shocked too, but he smiled afterwards agreeing to their relationship, he was about to talk to Hermione about this when she spun around and walked out of the portrait hole.

* * *

Dear Lily,

Nothing can stop Harry and Ginny now. They're together now. It's the end of the world for me.

I wasn't still ready to let him go from my heart.

Love, Hermione.

* * *

Readers, the next one will be the last chapter. Ready your tissues


	10. Chapter 10: The Gryffindor Princess

**A/N:**  
This does not follow the Half blood Prince timeline

Disclaimer: I do not own the wizarding world of Harry Potter

Dedication: For those who have reviewed:

LeeArt, StarrLightFable926, AllWasWell07, wholocked12, Angel Girl5, and especially Red Phoenix Dragon.

Ready your tissues. If it didn't make you cry, then I can only say that I am a novice writer and still learning. Last Chapter Folks! It's been a great journey.

* * *

"...and it's supposed to smell differently to each of us, according to what attracts us, and I can smell freshly mow grass, and new parchment and, and-... mixture of vanilla and- and..." _how Harry smells after their Quidditch training_ _after a quick shower_, Hermione continued in her mind. She turned pink, and excused herself by hiding back to the crowd of students.

"Very well! Carefully explained. Take ten points, Miss Hermione Granger." Slughorn said, ignoring her embarrassment. The Potions professor continued discussing, "And now, as you see, the potion has its distinctive mother-of-pearl sheen..."

The next of his words were drowned. Desperately, Hermone wished that nobody recognized her unusual behavior. She glanced at Harry, and saw that he was listening attentively to the Professor's discussion, his eyes following him as he opened up another cauldron which contained another potion Hermione was not eager to see.

Surprisingly, Ron nudged her ribs.

Hermione spun around, "What?" she hissed in a soft whisper.  
His freckly face looks dangerously worried and troubled. "I need you to talk to me in private. After this class." Ron said neutrally. She tensed, why would he want to talk to her?

After the Potions class ended, Ron hurriedly pulled Hermione's arm and dragged her out. Leaving Harry behind, they walked through a corridor lit by sunlight, a staircase full of portraits, and all the paths heading back to the Gryffindor Common Room. Color draining from her face, Hermione got more nervous when Ron wasn't uttering a single word to her. He looks valiantly nerve wrecked when they stopped in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Hermione." hissed Ron.

She was clammy, "What's your problem, Ronald?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you _what_?" Hermione asked confusedly.

Ron glanced over his shoulder to see if anyone was watching or hearing their conversation. When the coast was clear, he turned back to her, "About Harry."

Hermione paled. This was it, he was going to know about her love for him. Somebody was going to know. Probably Ron would even tell Harry about it, after all, he was closer to Harry than was to Hermione. Worse, this could destroy their friendship. With these two year of their remaining to Hogwarts, Harry will avoid her. Harry will not speak to her. Harry will be disgusted by her.

However, Hermione wasn't going to give her hopes up easily, of course, she would lie, "What about Harry?" she asked, saying it too much innocent more than a truth really is.

"Don't play dumb." Ron gripped her arm more, "I knew you like him."

She gasped at the force of his hand, "No, I do not!"

"Really?" Ron demanded.

She yanked her arm away, "Let go of me!"

"Hermione, you're a_ bad_ liar!" Ron tugged the hem of her school bag, not wanting to let her easily go. Annoyed, Hermione pulled his hand away, but Ron pulled harder. They kept doing it until Hermione's bag ripped and the contents- her books, quills and parchments spilled on the marble floor.

"Look what you did!" Hermione bent down to pick up her stuff. On the other hand, she didn't recognized that Ron helped her, and instead of picking more things, he found her diary and snatched it. Her heart paced, her hopes disappeared, and her muscles contracted together, paralyzing her.

"NO!" She reached for his hand. Ron raised the diary before Hermione can touch it.

"A diary? This would do, thanks." he said, smirking slightly in victory.

Ron flipped the page open, and to her horror, scanned the first entry he first saw. Time has slow down as Hermione tiptoed to reach the tall redhead, and Hermione saw how Ron's eyes widened.

Oh no, she thought. _Oh no_-

Finally, Hermione grabbed hold of her diary. She was flushed and furious when she fixed her bag and continued packing her things. Ron stood there, transfixed. Whatever he saw in the entry was definitely not good.

"You indeed_ love_ Harry." said Ron unbelievably.

"So what?" she said. Shakily and color drained. Tears were building up in her eyes now, a few drops into one of her books, "Are you happy now? To know about it? Are you happy?"

"You should have told since the very beginning." Ron told her, his tone neutral.

Hermione looked up, glaring "And what? And what Ronald Weasley?" she stood up, wiping her eyes with a sleeve of her robes, her school bag tucked to her side and the same again, "Would you even care? You even approved of him and Ginny's relationship. She's your sister, of course you would approve. I'm just a friend to you, am I not? Someone who could just help you with your own assignments. No, wait- make your assignments." Hermione corrected. "And almost help you in everything. Oh, that's right- I am even the one who helped you in the Keeper tryouts. For your information, I _confunded_ McLaggen just to make sure you are the first in the trials."

Ron gaped for a second, "You _what_?"

"Honestly,"Hermione continued, "Now I think I shouldn't have done that. That I should have let McLaggen in, when he's becoming more sensible rather than _you_."

"Hermione-"

"Bye Ronald." she said acidly, and marched her way to wherever her feet wanted to go. Deep inside, Hermione regretted saying piercing things to him, but partly relieved when finally she felt like she's said everything she wanted to say since he and Harry left her in the midst of everything.

* * *

It turns out, her feet lead Hermione to the Forbidden Forest of Hogwarts.

The air was damp compare to the wind inside the castle. Fog and trees grew thicker and more shrilly as Hermione went deeper and deeper into the forest. Hermione didn't want to get any further, since nobody else knew she had come here. Ron, surely wouldn't come for her. She halted and sat at the nearest boulder, a round and mossy object, and buried her face in her hands.

It was better like this, she thought. It was better that nobody knows about her love for Harry. They could despise her.

But she hasn't heard what Ron would like to say before she left. Hermione felt slackened. She wished she has stayed more time to find out what his reaction would be. The least and positive thing she thought, that it was better Ron to know and maybe to tell it to Harry rather than she herself would confess her love for him directly.

Hermione bet that Lily would be cheerful if she knows that Hermione has admitted it to another person.

_Lily._..

Her face went up. Despite the coldness, Hermione opened her bag and took the diary Harry has given her out. It feels like a long time ago, since she's receive it... And ever since, Hermione wrote her feelings and emotions and opinions and thoughts. Her entries now were countless, that the pages left were very few.

After her recent entry, about her seeing Harry and Ginny kissing, Lily has written something that made her heart skip a beat. Hermione hasn't read this before, because she was too furious about the event. Her fingers traced the words written,

_Dear Hermione_,

_I finally remembered who the Half-Blood Prince was. It is Severus Snape. _  
_He nicknamed himself that. I remembered him telling me when we're still close friends. His mother's name was Eileen Prince, a witch, a while his father was a Muggle. Sev was a half-blood._

_Hope it helped you_

_Lily._

_PS: Hermione, you see. I'm not being too offensive nor rude, but as I've mentioned to you before, you should've told Harry since the very beginning before all is too late_.

She has to tell Harry about this... It's no wonder why the spells written on the pages of the Potions book were deadly and harmful. Because it was written by Severus Snape, a Death Eater.

But telling Harry could wait.

Hermione found her raven feathered quill from the pocket of her robes and wrote:

_Dear Lily,_

_I hope you're pleased and happy. Ron knows about it now. Ron knows that I am madly in love with Harry._  
_I wish I could say it to Harry directly. But my Gryffindor courage isn't in me right now... Maybe Ginny is the real Gryffindor. Not me._  
_All this time, Lily. You were a great help. A very good friend. Maybe if you haven't died, you can raise Harry well, you can become a great mother. _  
_I hope Harry would be happy with Ginny. If I love, I would let him go. And I'm letting him go, right now. I've recently accepted the fact that he'll never be mine, and I'll never be his._

_Love from Hermione_.

Hermione closed the diary shut and examined it, fumbling her fingers through the pages, skimming and scanning through the blurs of inks. She stopped and closed her eyes, knowing what was to come. Not a second later, her back was arching forward, and Hermione was coughing blood. Spilling the mossy ground red.

She expected it to subside, after a hundred coughs, but this time, something sharp struck to the side of her head, even no needle-like weapon was pointing at it. Hermione staggered and fell. She was clutching her chest, as if it could help heal it. The diary was tossed to the boulder also, and plunged into the ground, next to her blood. She was shaking all over, her vision was dim, she was sweaty and unable to breath.

Maybe this was it. Maybe this was _her_ finality-

A cold object with lengthy fingers touched her cheek. The moment it touched her, Hermione's breaths become more calmer. She was feeling better. How could the hand stop the ailment with just a touch? It was just a coincidence, of course, since nothing could hear her.

"Stand up." An emotionless voice, spoke from above her, "_Rise_, mudblood."

The rude word made her knelt, in anger and resentment. The hooded figure in front of her was too blurry. Even if her eyes were a bit clearer, she couldn't see through the dark.

"What-" she huffed, "What did you just call me?"

She sensed that the figure was smirking, "Of course, the Gryffindor princess would like disagree with that. So brave."

_Gryffindor princess_, Hermione was taken aback, "Who are you? What are you doing here? You know, I am not allowed to talk to strangers." she said rudely. Not that the figure was scary, but Hermione was exhausted.

"I came to business. I don't want to kill a mudblood right now. Since she was important, since, she can help me take over the whole Wizarding world. And I am talking about _you_, Hermione Granger." the cold voice drawled.

"And what, in the name of heavens, would you kill somebody?" Hermione asked, and regretted saying it, since she knew who was now currently in front of her. No one could hate mudbloods as the figure did, except for Umbridge. But the figure was obviously a man.

"I _am_ Lord Voldemort, you idiot." then he laughed cruelly.

It was a freakish scene. Being here alone and with the Dark Lord. Being unprotected and unarmed, he could kill her easily with just a swish of his own wand.

Hermione wanted to go for her wand. Maybe if she could use some distractions...

"Why am I important?

Voldemort withdrew his hood, showing his slit pupils and pale, snake-like face, "Have you ever felt something in your life? About having a sickness in particular?" he was circling around her, while saying it.

"Yes, I do have-"  
"Then it is not a disease. Yes, it is dangerous, because of the side effects. But the truth is-" Voldemort stopped once again in front of her, but a few feet away, "It makes you stronger. That sickness makes you perform more extraordinary magic than anyone else. And it can only be obtain by somebody who possess traits of three houses."

"But I'm not from Hufflepuff. And the Sorting Hat just considered me in Ravenclaw because I got the brains." Hemione protested. It was too all impossible to her, even if it was a hundred percent truth.

"Everybody belongs to Hufflepuff. There are just incidents that most are more talented that's why they are sent to other houses. Because everybody contains, kindness, loyalty- and all that disgusting things Dumbledore loves." Voldemort mocked, "Except for Slytherin, however." his eyes glinted maliciously, "Since they are more powerful and knows more than to trust people."

"But..." Hermione had a chance to pull out her hand, but she was too consumed with the shock of her having a great power.

"The last person who obtained your power was a Slytherin, and it was ages ago... I didn't expect a Gryffindor to be the next one." the Dark Lord said disappointingly, "And _a mudblood_."

"I'm not special. I'm just Hermione. I'm the gryffindor princess, just like what you've said. I only belong to Gryffindor." she fought back. The ache in her heart was still there, stifling.

"Join me. Then I promise you that you'll never regret it. You are offered a high rank, among my most loyal Death Eaters. I can revive your parents. I can spare anyone that you love, except for one in particular... For he is my mortal enemy."

"You'll kill Harry! And I won't let you!" Hermione somehow got her wand from her schoolbag and was now pointing it to Voldemort.

"Ah, indeed." Voldemort said in amusement, "The violent things a person could do for_ love_."

Hermione felt exposed with his words. Before the Dark Lord was ready to speak once again, Hermione aimed at him, "_Stupefy_!" she cried.

He deflected it in the most boring wave, and the spell vanished. It wasn't enough for Hermione to carry her schoolbag and her diary and get out of there- but it didn't matter, since Voldemort didn't follow her.

Instead, the Dark Lord frowned in disappointment and muttered, while eyeing the bushy-haired' retreating back, "You chose your path. And now you watch hopelessly as I kill your headmaster, and suffer in vain." with that, he vanished and went to join his Death Eaters.

* * *

The Dark Mark was swaying overhead like a dragon ready to set the place aflame when Hermione returned to the gates of the Hogwarts castle. Terrified, she ran upstairs, to head to the Gryffindor Common Room. She didn't know why, but all she wanted to see was Harry. Her Harry Potter.

Although a fight was brewing everywhere. Death Eaters have entered the guards of the castle, and was now attacking the Professors and the innocent students. She has to find Harry fast, before even Voldemort could find him-

"Hermione! Hermione!" Neville ran to her, holding a small bottle.

"Neville? Have you seen Harry-?"  
"No, no" Neville shook his head violently, "Listen he went with Dumbledore- I don't know where. And Hermione, you need to drink some bits of this. Harry gave us this Lucky Potion and said that we should split it to the DA members. Here-" he handed her the little potion.

Hermione shook her head reluctantly, "You need it better than I am."

"But-"  
"Neville" she gave him the best, most deadliest glare she could do, "You and the members need it more than I am. Trust me, I can handle myself on my own."

"Thanks." he said breathlessly.

Hermione left Neville and went to the grounds. Harry and Dumbledore could fly in brooms and land on the grounds, then enter the double doors of the castle. It was her guess. She half jogged, half walk to the grounds, stunning one Death Eater while on the way.

So Harry was right. Maybe Draco has given a mission by the Dark Lord, and it was by having the Death Eaters invade the castle. How ridiculous the idea was- it worked. Hermione felt more sympathy to him, she should have been nicer.

Nothing was in the Hogwarts grounds. Only Ron, Luna and Ginny. Their faces were stricken with fear, but otherwise they weren't shaking.  
"I was looking for you!" Ron yelled.  
"Thank goodness." Ginny heaved in relief. Luna just nodded.

"I need to see Harry." she said shortly, ignoring their statements.  
But somewhere, she could hear screams and casts of spells, some banging of explosions. And it was coming from Hagrid's hut.  
Ron, Luna and Ginny as Hermione ran there, and saw that Hagrid's hut was on fire. It was surrounded by Death Eaters- Bellatrix, who kept laughing crazily, Draco, who was stricken, and Severus Snape, who was fighting somebody else.

And that somebody else was Harry.

He was thrown backwards when Snape slashed through the air. "How dare you you use my own spells against me!" Snape roared, "Yes, Potter. I am the Half Blood Prince."

"You killed Dumbledore!" Harry shouted in agony. Hermione sunk. No way, the headmaster couldn't die-

Then out of nowhere, there was swish of dark, small tornado in front of them. Hermione froze, a few feet from Harry. Voldemort appeared from those shadows, just in front of Snape.

Snape was stunned, "My lord-"  
"I take it from here, Severus." he said to his servant.

Harry got up from his feet. A wild look on his face, "Voldemort."

"Harry!" Hermione bolted forward and helped him up.  
"Hermione?" He looks at her, "What are you doing here?" Harry asked her, like she wasn't supposed to be there.

"I- I am here to protect you." she whispered.

"Harry! Hermione!" It was Ron, Luna and Ginny, running to them. When they saw Voldemort, they flinched a bit but remained brave.

"What a nice reunion." Voldemort said with sarcasm. "Very well, I must finish my business. Right here, in front of your friends to see."

"NO!" They all shouted, but Hermione was the loudest. She raised up her arms and blocked Harry from the Dark Lord's view.  
Voldemort continued, "I offered you one thing mudblood, and you chose to side with the losing one. How pathetic." he started twirling his wand in his fingers.

"Don't call her that!" Harry shouted back, and said to Hermione, "What was he saying, Hermione? And stop covering me, you'll get yourself killed. Please-"

"No, Harry."

"'Mione!" Harry told his stubborn bestfriend, and pulled her aside, to Ron, Luna and Ginny. She squealed, then Ron caught her. Then he, very gently, walked towards Voldemort, "Want a duel, Riddle? Between you and I? And let's see who will really win. You don't need to sacrifice your Death Eater's lives. You should have gone straight to me instead. So it's just the two of us. No one could get hurt."

"Do you think it's that easy? You dimwitted boy?" Voldemort said. "Do you think you could just bring me down in a duel? I don't think so. Nor can Dumbledore defeat me. And I just remembered, isn't your favorite professor dead? Now, no one can stop me. I shall rule the world."

"Not _a_ chance!" Harry lunged forward, wand in hand, ready to aim his trademark move.

"_Avada Kedavra_!"

"_Harry_!"  
Harry stood, frozen on his spot. The green jet light was soaring towards him... in a murderous flash- Hermione, without thinking, headed straight, not to the killing curse but to stand in front of the Boy Who Lived, and also the only living person left she has love so much-

_"Hermione, don't!"_  
_"No!"_

The Killing Curse hit her squarely in the body. She stood there for a moment- after the green light was gone, her caramel, brown eyes that he always loved were shining with fresh tears. Then slowly, her knees gave away- Harry watched all this for a split second, and went to catch his bestfriend's limp body before it hits the grassy ground.

The Death Eaters laughed, and Voldemort, looking sulky and squinting, ordered his members to go away, and they did. Voldemort did a half glance in disappointment of the girl's powers before going away.

Ron, Luna and Ginny marched over to see Hermione. Ginny and Luna began to sob at the sight of her Ron was too shock to speak, but was crying, too.

She was looking at the sky, the tears now flowing her cheeks. The Dark Mark has now vanished, replaced by a starry night.

Hermione knew she was stupid for lunging into that green light. But it was the right thing to do- so that Voldemort couldn't ask for her hand and die instead. After all, she has to protect Harry. She was better dead. After her attempts of killing herself, and wishing she was dead, and having the sickness- she has been granted that only in the most unexpected way.

As she look at the sky, she suddenly thought, _how_ would Heaven look like?

Now she can't help wondering. But Hermione has a great hope that she'll meet her parents there...

"_Parents... meet my parents_..." she muttered repeatedly. Hermione was ready to close her eyes.

"Hermione-_ you stupid girl._" she didn't notice Harry until he spoke. He was crying, too. His fits of sobs shaking his body. Hermione wondered why, when he only care little for her.

She remembered what Lily said, and now seems like the only chance to say it right. Even in front of Ginny, whom was currently dating him...

"_I love you, Harry_. Not as a brother but more than that." Hermione said, then used her hand to entwine it to his.  
Harry opened his eyes.

His green eyes were like emeralds under water when he spoke, "I _love_ you too, Hermione. Ever since- please don't go- stay alive- _please don't leave me_-"

Hermione frowned, not believing him, but after a while, her face relaxed as if she finally believed that Harry really loves her. Then for a moment, Harry thought she was studying him with those brilliant eyes that were always so clever and amusing- then he noticed how her fingers were pale, cold and... dead.

Finally, Harry pressed her lips on hers in a silent goodbye. Hermione leaving him behind in a conclusion.

* * *

I actually cried while writing this, mind you. If you want a proof, I could send you my real tears escaping right now from my eyes. I'd want to kill myself too for writing this.

If you want the scene on why Hermione frowned before she died, or the view of Voldemort on planning to kill Harry on her own point of view, you can private message me, or tell me in the reviews.

AND ITS NOT DONE YET FOLKS! There's still** an epilogue**. It reveals all the answers about why Harry has been a bastard and maybe how would he and Ron would take this after her death, and who knows... maybe he can meet Hermione again. *hint *hint.

tell me your opinions about this

PS: I always read your reviews. Flames, Goodie or not.


	11. Epilogue

**A/N: **GUYS. Your reviews killed me

**Epilogue**:

* * *

Several Hours After the Flight of the Death Eaters

* * *

Harry didn't want to see the ceremony. He doesn't want to see her peaceful face, knowing that he won't ever see her eyes again, nor hear her voice which was always present in a soothing tone whenever a question is being asked during their lessons at school.

The headmaster's death bothered him, too. But Harry felt more sympathetic with Hermione's, for he thinks that he was the reason why she died, because of his stupidity and his disability to protect himself from the Killing Curse.

Currently, Harry was in Dumbledore's office. He wanted to stay in the Gryffindor Common Room but it brought home memories which were too painful to remember. Her laughter, and her usual study habits, all distant and now just echoing inside his mind. So he decided to remain in one of the last places he's have been with Dumbledore.

Harry wandered, walking around. His footsteps clicking against the pavement. Fawkes left the castle after it knew that its master died, after singing its lament. So the stand where the phoenix was resting just hours ago was miserably empty.

Harry scanned the glinting Gryffindor sword that was lying on the table, the Pensieve was beside it, still glowing mystical blue, just as what it was after Harry and Dumbledore left the office. And for the first time, he noticed something he hasn't seen before they left.

It was a piece of parchment, addressed to somebody else. Harry picked it up, not caring if it was any important. Private or not, he began to read:

_Dear Miss Granger, (Harry's chest gave a jolt)_

_I finally found out what your ailment is about. It is some kind of old magic some of our ancestors inherit, not by blood by magical blood. So it affects Muggleborns alike._  
_The ailment is about one person being extraordinary with magic, being more powerful than ordinary Wizards and Witches. The spell brandished by the owner will overreact from the required action. However, it has a side effect, which is coughing blood, hard breathing, and a sharp pain in one part of your body, sometimes the mind._  
_The known cure for this is 'Magicae Sanare'_  
_Along with a swish of the wand in a circular shape._

_I hope it will help you. Good day._

_From, Albus Dumbledore_.

The paper suddenly was blotched wet when Harry accidentally let a tear fall. He was back of missing Hermione again, and how did he not know that Hermione had an ailment? A sickness? And why did Dumbledore mentioned nothing to him about this? Why did Hermone not tell him about this?  
It hit him like a rogue Bludger when he realized, that Hermione hasn't told him because he and Ron were distant often from her. So maybe she decided to keep it to herself...

Harry tucked the paper in his pocket. There was a sound of an opening door, he glanced around and saw Ron entering the office.  
"Thought I could find you here." he said. There were dark shadows underneath his eyes, and his eyes were swollen. "Why didn't you attend Hermone's funeral?"

Harry averted his puffy eyes and looked down on the floor.

When he didn't reply, Ron said, "Look at this, Harry. And read all of it." Ron said urgently, and gave him a familiar small book.  
Then Harry noticed what it was. It was the diary he gave Hermione.

He has almost forgotten that he gave her that. It's like it was years and decades since he present it to her. He wondered what she has wrote there? All of her secrets, maybe?

Trembling from head to foot, Harry grabbed and flipped it open. He started reading her entry, skipping some notes. Then he stopped abruptly when he saw something that catches his eyes.

Stunned, he looked up at Ron, "_My mum_. She's part of the diary."

Ron just nodded and prodded him to continue, his hands secured inside his pockets.

Harry was delighted and shock to see Lily's and Hermione's scribbles communicating with each other. Brilliant and amazing are the perfect description for it... When he read some of her entries, however, his heart sank. He could see how Hermione was heart broken with him being a lovesick puppy for Ginny.

Then he was on the page where Hermione has stained the diary with her blood.

Harry felt his eyes burn. He can't take seeing the sufferings of his best friend- It was so foolish to read how he was acting in Hermione's eyes. How she cried every night, how she cough blood everytime. Harry wished he was there at all of those times, comforting her, making her laugh, and finding a solution to prevent her sickness. Not wanting to read anymore, Harry closed the diary.

This was all his fault. And it was_ too late_ to apologize.

But maybe not. Maybe she could still hear him.

Harry wished that he had the time turner with him, so he could talk to her again... see her again... maybe prevent her from dying evenly... But after the mayhem at the Ministry, it was impossible for him to get his hands on the time turner again.

But there's his only one hope.

Silently, Ron just waited for his reaction. Too ashamed to meet Harry's eyes. Maybe he had the same reaction after he've read Hermione's diary.

"I- I need to do something, Ron."

Before Ron could utter a word, Harry left the office, the diary swinging along with his arm. The red head shook his head and followed his best friend through the hole.

* * *

Hermione's Burial

* * *

"**I** dumped Ginny. It was alright for her. She understands. She said she's just going back on dating Dean Thomas, while I... I'll be waiting for you at the right time." Harry said, choking at his last sentence. "Ginny was sorry. I am, too. I've been a bastard, a stupid git. I... I wish you could forgive me"

"_Mate_," Ron put a hand on his back. "You know that Hermione won't like it when you're calling yourself that."

The two male best friends, the remaining two of the Golden Trio were standing softly in front of their best friend's tomb. The tomb was marble pale, a bouqet of white roses (Hermione's favorite) was underneath the etched words bearing her name and the date she was born and died.

_Hermione Jean Granger_  
_September 19, 1979 - May 21, 1996_  
_The Brightest Witch of Her Age_

"The truth is," Harry continued informing the deaf tomb, "I gave you the diary is that, being not just a present, but because I had feelings for you. And I still have feelings for you, Hermione. I gave it because I knew you would spill your secrets out, and maybe I could find a chance to peek in and know if you feel the same way about me too. I didn't expect it to be a bit alive of my mother."

"Remus told me that my mother and father mentioned that I should give it to the girl I wanted to live with for the rest of my life. And I chose you, Hermione. I didn't choose Ginny. Ginny was all hormones to me, nothing else. Now- now..." Harry knelt down and buried his head on the tombstone, tears streaming down his face. "Now I regret breaking your heart. Forgive me."

It was no point pleading when the dead will never answer back.

"My mother was right of choosing you. I'm really sorry..." Harry sobbed, "If only we could start again, start a new life, fall in love..."

Ron knelt beside Harry, also crying, and patted him on the back. "I know Hermione already has forgiven you, Harry. It's in her nature."  
Knowing that the Weasley was saying the whole truth, Harry nodded in response.

"Guess people can't call us the Golden Trio anymore, eh?" Ron half sobbed, and half laughed, making him sound like choking on a food.

After five years of their journey- the Troll, which lead them to their first friendship, the time when he and Ron went through the Chamber of Secrets, and on their third year, when Harry and Hermione used the Time Turner to save Sirius and Buckbeak, and the help she gave while Harry's suffering under the consequences of the Triwizard Tournament, and finally their fight against the Death Eaters in the Department of Mysteries... have all lead to this. One of them leaving away.

"_I_... I guess you're right," Harry said, the words still hard to convey with his lips like he was born and raised not speaking. "Let's just promise Dumbledore we'll hunt down all Voldemort's horcruxes. And this is for Hermione, too. You know".

"It'll be a lot easy if she's with us though..." Ron said matter-of-factly. "What we will do with You-Know-Who now, Harry?"

Once again, Ron was speaking the truth. With her infinite intelligence, Hermione could guide them through gapes and holes without any problem and with just a flicker of her wand. And adventuring with only the two of them makes Harry tired... even think about it makes his bones wail and surrender...

But if he acted all dumb again, like how he did before Hermione was killed- with mouth agape and staring at the flash of green light, it could cause another set of bodies killed. And he was not going to let that happen again.

This was the exchange for Hermione's life, and his love for her, and her love for him. And also for the sake of the Wizarding World.  
Finding courage, Harry Potter stood up, and said, "Speaking of Voldemort, for him killing Hermione..." His eyes flared, "I'm going to finish him once and for all."

* * *

Bright white light hit Hermione's eyes. She has too narrow her eyes and held her fingers up to examine her surroundings. There was only whiteness around, nothing but emptiness and brightness. She saw a figure walking to her, once her eyes adjusted, she could see that the figure was a woman, a woman with red hair and green eyes like Harry's.

"Hermione, good to see you finally." Lily said, welcoming her in a gesture.

"Lily?" Hermione stared disbelievingly.  
Lily laughed, "Yes, Hermione. Not just the Lily in your diary."

"My parents?" Hermione suddenly inserted the topic, looking around.

"They're here." Lily smiled, and chuckled a bit. Not a minute later, two heads appeared beside Harry's mother: her mother and father.

"Mum! Dad!" Hermione ran to them and hugged them both.

"My sweet 'Mione." Her dad mumbled through her thick hair. Mrs. Granger was crying quietly, and was brushing her daughter's back.  
"I- I can't believe it!" shrieked Hermione, "We've seen each other again! Mum, dad- I love you so much!"

"Here, sweetie." they both parted, her parents smiled at her.

"We were really glad you didn't continue your suicide after you've known that we've died. You died a noble way, Hermione. I'm so proud of you." her mother beamed.

Hermione didn't answer. They all exachange looks for the next seconds, as if not believing that they'e seen each other again. The bushy haired's eyes were shining with tears of joy and pure longing.

Indeed she was sad, and at the same time implementing idiocy in her last remaining time at Hogwarts... and with Harry. She'd heard his words. The speech he gave to her dead body. She heard all of it, and she forgive him for that.

All the time, the remaining days on her stay on Earth as a spirit gave her advantage to guide Harry and Ron in his Horcrux hunting. From guessing and listening intently to their plans, she guided Harry by giving him clues on what he needs to do next. Sometimes whispering on Harry's sleep about her predictions, hoping that he would hear it in the verge of his dreams. And on her final day, kissing Harry on the forehead, then on the lips, before leaving him sleeping in the Shell Cottage.

But all the same, Hermione can't handle all mixed emotions at once. This time was for her parents.

Lily cleared her throat, "I don't want to break any bonding moment, but Hermione, I'm afraid there's someone calling you."

"Calling me? Who would call me?" Hermione frowned.

Smiling, Lily said, "He's been wanting to see you back on the ground."

She was confused, "On the real world you mean? The alive world? But I'm dead am I not?"

"Yes. Now come." Lily surged her forward, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, "I shall go with you there. And you'll see who wants to talk to you."

* * *

A Year After The Burial. The Forbidden Forest During The Hogwarts Battle.

* * *

The Snitch. His nerveless fingers fumbled for a moment with the pouch at his neck and he pulled it out.  
_I open at the clos_e.

Breathing fast and hard, he stared down at it. Now that he wanted time to move as slowly as possible, it seemed to have sped up, and understanding was coming so fast it seemed to have bypassed thought. This was the close. This was the moment.

He pressed the golden metal to his lips and whispered, "I am about to die."

The metal shell broke open. He lowered his shaking hand, raised Draco's wand beneath the Cloak, and murmured, "_Lumos_."

The black stone with its jagged crack running down the center sat in the two halves of the Snitch. He closed his eyes and turned the stone over in his hand three times.

The moment he flipped his hand, there were rustles of leaves, and the hard blowing of the wind. When Harry Potter blinked again, figures were gliding overhead him. James, as tall as Harry; Sirius, more young and handsome; Remus, face without the battle scars and Lily; pretty as ever with her long hair.

They were all neither flesh nor ghosts, Harry could see that. Even they weren't alive, it was better next to ghosts.

"You've been so brave"

He could not speak. He would like to stand in front of her and look at her forever and that would be enough.

"You are nearly there," said James. "You'll join us soon."

"Does it hurt?" Harry asked, in a childish approach. "Dying?"

"No, quicker than falling asleep." said Sirius with a nod. A chilly breeze swept the cloak, brushing leaves that was lying on the ground of the forest. Sensing something, Harry asked, "Hermione. Is she here?"

Remus was about to put a hand on his shoulder, then remembered he can't, and retreated embarrassingly. Then he said in a low voice, "Harry, it's better if you won't see her."

"Why?" Harry asked instantly. Of all people, he was hoping she would turn up. Because that's what she always did, support him in every way...

"She says it so, and I think her decision is quite right. It will just hurt you more, Harry." Sirius injected.

"I wanted to say sorry to her, you know. About how I acted." he said, looking down.

Lily swerved forward and came to meet his son's need of comfort, "It wasn't, my boy. I know you loved her. Hermione was sorry too, for she didn't tell you her undying love for you."

"Lily's right."

The sudden change of voice surprised the crowd. Turning their heads, Hermione came in, transparent too, gliding on the ground effortlessly. She was wearing her Hogwarts school robes, the Gryffindor badge pinned on her cloak. They all cleared a way for her, letting her pass through and enter like a grand parade, to be able to stand in front of The Boy Who Lived.

She was a white mist, preventing Harry to see the usual flecks of gold in her brown eyes, and the caramel of her hair. But otherwise, it was still in curls, and her eyes was still the same too, and Hermione was feasting it on Harry, soft and lovingly.

"I am sorry, too."  
Harry can't breath. He wanted to hug her. Kiss her in the lips not with her lips pale and dead... just alive and full of passion. But it was impossible, unless they're both dead. Unless he's dead...

Time was ticking by. The final revolution of the light side claiming the glory was beginning. And the moment for him to join the people surrounding Harry was drawing closer.

"I need to go to now." Harry said to all of them, breathing ragged and unbelievably fast. "Will you stay with me?"  
"Always." said Lily.

"Until the very end." James said. Remus nodded, and smiled a little for him.

"We are part of you," said Sirius, "Invisible to anyone else."

"Hermione?" Harry turned to her.  
"For heaven's sake, Harry. Of course." Hermione smiled. Harry sworn he could melt at the spot.

When Harry saw light ahead, he knew it had been the place where the monstrous Aragog had once lived. The remnants of his vast web were there still, but the swarm of descedants he had spawned had been driven out by the Death Eaters, for a fight of their cause.

Every eye was fixed upon Voldemort, who stood with his head bowed, and his white hands folded over the Elder Wand in front of him. He only lifted his head when Yaxley and Dolohov returned back at the place, a bit crestfallen.

"No sign of him, my lord." Yaxley announced. The Death Eaters slowly and one by one raised their eyes up to stare at the men. All were still and quiet, not knowing what their master would do next.

Voldemort narrowed his slit eyes, and spoke, "I expected him to come."

None of them spoke. Yaxley and Dolohov slowly paced to the crowd of Death Eaters watching, and joined them.

"I thought he would come." said Voldemort, more clearer and higher, his eyes on leaping flames.

Nobody answered. It was crystal clear that they were as afraid as Harry whose heart was now throwing itself against his ribs as though determined to escape the body he was about to cast aside. His hands were sweating as he pulled off the Invisibility Cloak and stuffed it beneath his robes, with his wand. He did not want to be tempted to fight.

"I was, it seems... mistaken." said Voldemort.

"You weren't."  
Harry's words was a massive blow to the Death Eaters. They gasped in exclaimed surprise, some suppressed a triumphant smirks. Voldemort had frozen where he stood, but his red eyes had found Harry, and he stared as Harry moved toward him with nothing but empty space between them.

And now, Voldemort tilted his head a little to the side, considering the boy standing before him, and a singularly mirthless smile curled the lipless mouth.

"Harry Potter," his said very softly. His voice might have been part of the echoing wind. "The Boy Who Lived."

None of the Death Eaters moved. They were waiting: Everything was waiting. Bracing himself, Harry closed his eyes, now more prepared to die. He thought inexplicably of his professors, his friends, and of Hermione, and her circular curls and sparkling eyes, and the feel of her lips on his on her last sacrifice-

Voldemort had raised his wand. His head was still tilted to the side, like a curious child, wondering what would happen if he proceeded. Harry wanted it to happen now, quickly, while he could still stand, before he lost control, before he betrayed fear-  
He saw the mouth move and a flash of green light, and everything was gone.

* * *

Credits for JK Rowling about that Resurrection Stone part and where Voldemort avada kedavra'd him part. I edited it a bit.

Hey guys, did you hear about the new Harry Potter film about Fantastic Beasts and where to find them? It's official and I'm very excited. It's about Newt Scamander, the author of Fantastic beasts. I bet it'll be about his journey discovering different Wizarding creatures.

AS FOR the last part, it ended in a cliffhanger. Now I only leave you three options on what would the ending fits your decision:

1. Harry continues to the King's Cross station, and gets revive back to the Wizarding World and the events is the same at the book, although he grows up as an Auror, without dating anybody for Hermione's sake.  
2. Harry continues to the afterlife, BUT Nagini was killed by Neville. The Wizarding World is safe, only without Harry Potter. Harry rejoins his parents, Sirius, Remus and especially Hermione and lived happily in the afterlife.

AND 3. It's up to you to make you own ending.

Thoughts about the new HP film? Your choice for the ending on my story?  
Please comment/review it.

PS: This is **NOT** still the last chapter. There's the last one, Since somebody asked the part on Hermione's POV where she frowns before she dies. Her thoughts and everything would be told in the next. So stay tune.

For those who will not continue reading, UNTIL NEXT TIME!  
I MIGHT create a sequel about it. A multichapter too. I had a plot going on in my head. Post Potter. SO TELL ME IF YOU WANT IT TOO!

ONLY you need to consider OPTION 1. Where Harry returns to the Kings cross station and continues to live in the Wizarding world. IN the next chapter, I'll mention the idea of my plot in the sequel. Thank you  
xx NightWing.


	12. Bonus Scene & Preview

**A/N**: For those who asked for it.

_**THIS SERVES AS A GIFT FOR ALL WHO FAVORITED, FOLLOWED AND REVIEWED. THANK YOU**_

**For those who read this. You'll get the sneak peek of the sequel. Yay for that.**

* * *

As I lie on the damp grass, listening intently to the slowing beating of my heart, a wave of nauseousness was whirling in my head. Mouthfuls of fresh air was widening my lips open and close in a fast rhythm. My vision was zooming and out, like an adjustable telescope eye. For the first time in ages, I recognized how beautiful the sky was.

I was too worried these past days and months to even look at the beauty of nature, even if it was already in front of me, with my mind wandering around in thoughts of problems.

The dim sky wounded with the Dark Mark was terrifying to see. Although it reminds me of a great artwork in gray and white. Very slowly, it vanished as clouds drift back to their own direction. Finally, it was replaced by more pretty blinking stars and shades of indigo and light purple.

_Dawn_.

It was too splendid to die underneath this. For me, it feels like the coated heavens was the final shroud for my last breath.

I didn't know how I muster to release a tear nor frown. I suddenly wondered, how would Heaven look like?

Will it be the same with the stories I've heard?

But no worries, no matter how it will look like, I only know one thing, and that is I am going to be able to meet my parents again...

"_Parents_... meet my parents..." I murmured in a slow flow.

The sounds around me were beginning to fade. The words I thought I hear were clearly unrecognized by my ears, then it turns into a vibration, then was gone...

Not noticing, my eyelids were slowly travelling down to connect with the lower part...

"Hermione- _you idiot_."

His voice snapped, among the rushing wind, the swishing of the grass, the echoes of shouted spells. the sobs. It jerked my eyes for a moment. Because it was Harry, I never fail to hear clearly what he says.

I clutched his hand with mine. How I muster that energy, I didn't know. But the sight of him was enough for me to have more strength to utter the words, "I_ love_ you, Harry. Not as a brother, but more than that."

I inserted my fingers through the gaps, entwining it.

His green eyes were like emeralds underwater when he spoke, "I love you too, Hermione. Ever since- please don't go- _stay alive_, please don't leave me-"

I frowned. He _loves_ me? After all this time of him following Ginny like a lovesick puppy? Of him, making me hope that he likes me the same way as I did by giving the diary? Of him that I love so much even he was ignoring me?

I didn't want to hear it anymore. I was feeling sick of it. Tired and limp. I looked at those eyes of him and try to make him understand, to make him say that he was telling the truth. But it was all too late...

Everything was being sucked out of scene: the stars, the sky, Luna, Ginny, _Ron_- and lastly, Harry's crestfallen face.

Then I knew he was saying the truth, with his expression that I can all so well study like an open book and memorized like a script of my life. His eyes is what I last saw before everything blacked out. And I died with my eyes half open.

* * *

And here's the summary of the sequel.

IMPORTANT: If you choose OPTION 1. Then this would apply to it. If Option 2, then that's the ending already:

Harry was supposedly dead. Although he was revived back to life, after meeting Dumbledore at the Kings Cross Station. The Wizarding World has been saved, Voldemort is gone. But Harry felt there's still missing... which was Hermione. He doesn't not know how to live life without her. So he decided to revive Hermione from the dead. But would she still be the same clever girl? Or a new Dark Lord waiting to arise and replace Voldemort's throne? **The sequel to Breakaway.**

* * *

**So what do you think? Should I continue the sequel? Is it exciting to hear?**

**What are your thoughts on Hermione's POV on her death? Is it better than the third POV one?**

**Tell me all your answers to my questions on the reviews. Im expecting no less than five sentences from each of you.**

**And this is where the journey in Breakaway ends. Farewell**

**Love from, NightWing**

**PS: I'm still making the draft/plotline of the sequel so please bear with me and be patient! If you don't want to read the sequel then don't. Its okay**


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